10 Advice for Couples Who Want to Live an Eternal “Happily Ever After”

If you think real-life relationships are like the ones we’re used to seeing in romantic movies, you’d better beware. In general, the dynamics of relationships change a lot over time, and little by little the passion between two people who are getting to know each other is transformed into other manifestations of care and affection.

There are those who say that what keeps the relationship going are the small actions of everyday life. With that in mind, today the awesome.club gives some advice on what people can do to keep their relationship solid and happy.

Have you ever tried to time the duration of the kisses you give your partner? According to Dr. John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute, kisses should last at least 6 seconds.

The basic idea behind this is that six seconds is a good amount of time for a kiss to be meaningful, especially when compared to a quick peck on the cheek. It is long enough for the two people to physically connect, but not so long that the person loses track of time. In addition, he makes the affection that one person feels for the other increase more and more.

The concept of the Five Love Languages ​​was created by Dr. Gary Chapman. This theory summarizes the different ways of giving love and how we would like that love to be returned.

To help keep the relationship strong, it’s important to understand what makes the other person happy. In this sense, check out the five categories that appear in this theory and see which one you think fits best in your case:

GiftsAttitudesPositive wordsQuality timePhysical contact

In addition to making you feel like a Secret Service agent (which is not a bad idea), having a special code can help the couple through uncomfortable times. It could be something silly, like saying “guacamole” instead of saying you want to leave an event. That way, the other quickly understands that it’s better to leave.

Another example is code that couples can create to set a “duration limit” for an argument. This helps to avoid further disagreements and fights. Of course, the couple can assess whether or not the timing is right, but in general this strategy is good so that people can better think about what is being discussed.

There’s nothing better than when we’re doing something and the person we live with offers a helping hand. In addition to getting the work done more quickly, the attitude suggests companionship and affection that are very important in a relationship.

This issue is even more important in relation to household tasks, after all, it is essential that a couple discuss who is responsible for each task at home. But of course, whenever a person is tired, it’s important that they know they can count on each other, because that’s what a life together is all about.

Notice how sometimes conversations between couples who have been together for a long time boil down to generic questions like, “What’s for dinner?” or “What time are you coming back today?” Many couples get so wrapped up in their routine that they sometimes forget to take a break to talk to the other person.

Finding deeper topics to talk about not only improves communication, but also allows partners to get to know each other better. Need ideas? You can find some topic suggestions here.

Realize that when the other person starts venting they don’t necessarily need you to solve their problem. Most of the time, she just wants to be heard.

The emotional support you provide through active listening is often more important than offering a solution to a problem. Fight the urge to always want to be the hero and try to be a friend who recognizes problems and knows how to comfort.

Spoiler alert: A marriage isn’t all about adventures and emotions. It’s not every day that a couple can travel, do different things or go out for a romantic dinner. In reality, everyday life for two is almost the opposite of that.

It is very common for the couple to stay in the room without doing anything, one reading and the other using the cell phone. And that’s okay. It’s beautiful when two people can be together, each doing what they want, sharing the same space. In these moments of silence, they learn to value the presence of the other.

Stonewalling could be translated as a refusal to communicate or cooperate; that is, it is when a person closes right in the middle of an argument. According to therapist Dr. John Gottman, this is one of the biggest causes of broken relationships.

When one person gives another the “silent treatment” and pretends to be very cool on the outside, it’s as if they’re saying, “I don’t care what you’re saying anymore.” While this is often done to defuse the situation, this method can be very damaging to the relationship. Instead, it’s best to ask for a break and say that you need time to work through your own feelings.

Big surprises might seem like the most romantic thing in the world, but it’s the small gestures that really strengthen the relationship, especially since they show consistency.

We’re talking about really simple things like writing a love note every morning, asking your significant other how their day is going, or bringing home a little gift that says you thought about the other person during the day. When things like that happen, we feel like we’re at the beginning of the relationship, which is always really nice.

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean your world has to revolve around each other. You still need to find time for yourself.

Be sure to exercise, maintain a healthy diet and take care of your body and mind. And remember, there’s nothing wrong with taking a vacation alone. Taking care of yourself and investing in your own well-being is a way of showing others that you want to be the best version of yourself.

Which of these tips caught your attention the most? Do you have any other love advice you’d like to share with our readers? Tell in the comments.