Why we seek male approval

The affective deficiencies that many women suffer in their childhood become a need for masculine recognition. Happens when the absence of the father marks the girls and they come to develop an emotional dependency towards the male figure, whether in the form of a father, boyfriend, husband, boss, or any other man who can validate her and give her the attention she needs.

Besides, successful men arouse admiration in women because they see in them everything that they do not possess: self-confidence, ability to use their power and get what they want or need, seduction capacity, economic success, freedom, rights, and many privileges.

unrequited admiration

However, the men they rarely give up the position of companions. We may be good at soccer, but we’ll never play like a man. We may be good at math, but geniuses are always men. We can be good professionals in the office, but we charge less than they do.

In general, men do not recognize us as equals because they build their masculine identity rejecting everything that has to do with femininity. They don’t want to see themselves as equals to us because they have always made it very clear that men are superior, that they are not weak or cowardly, that they are not evil and clumsy, that they are not manipulative or treacherous, that they are not women, in short.

Everything negative is associated with women, so for them we will never be their equals.

And despite that, many women cry out for male recognition, the approval of a man: our worth has always depended on the level of affection and love that they have felt towards us. Therefore if they do not love us, we are nothing.

Lives that revolve around that of men

When you become aware of this need to attract and please men is when you realize that you are not the only one (and that it is useless to ask them to look at us horizontally): they can act as teachers, guides, bodyguards, but They don’t get to our level because they always want you to try harder.

patriarchal men take advantage of low self esteem that the most dependent women have, and they know that the lower it is, the more they benefit. They believe that our need for recognition will make us settle for any crumb of love, that they will put us at their feet, and that they can be loved and cared for without much effort.

That is why it is so important free ourselves from this need for masculine recognition: becoming aware that we cannot live for them, pending their approval, looking for crumbs, sighing for a little time or settling for the little they give us.

To the extent that we can understand that our worth does not depend on any man, that we are valuable only because we are alive and loved by many people, it will be easier for us to become independent of love and men. And in this way it will also be easier to relate to them one on one, without submitting ourselves, without dependencies that bind us to anyone.

We were born free beings, we are free beings, and love does not work if there is no reciprocity, good treatment, complicity and companionship.

If we get rid of necessity, we can love freely and build healthy relationships and egalitarian that allow us to live love from enjoyment and joy. You just have to become aware, and get to work, girls.
Go for it.