Why Some People Are Afraid to Commit to Their Partner (and How to Fix It)

When you start a romantic relationship, it is normal that, over time, you start to wonder: where is the couple going? Will it have a future? But commitment is not something that is naturally given to everyone. Even if you are willing to get emotionally involved with someone, your partner may be afraid to give themselves completely to the relationship.

This can occur for different reasons, but mainly because he or she has internal conflicts that must be resolved. The important thing in such a situation is that both of you find out what the reasons behind this discomfort are, so that you can discuss them and determine if there is a future for you.

O awesome.club delved further into the different reasons why someone might be afraid to commit to their partner and what can be done to address the issue.

It is normal to inherit the image and meaning of being committed to your partner from your parents. Since childhood, you observe how they interact, and it can happen that, consciously or unconsciously, you decide to have the same dynamic when you are with someone. But the opposite can also happen: if your parents divorced or didn’t have a stable relationship, you might not want to make the same mistakes.

How to solve: you are not your parents. You must be honest about what you really want in a relationship and be clear about how you want to evolve as a person in order to choose someone to support your growth. It’s important that you talk with your partner about what commitment means to each of you so that you can determine how to take the next step.

There are people who are always looking for “something better”, either in their personal or professional life, because they are never 100% satisfied with what they have. It could also mean that they are not entirely sure how they feel about their partner. This type of apprehension can also occur when the person does not know if he is with someone suitable.

How to solve: it is not always necessary to compromise one thing to receive another in return. You can continue to aspire to something bigger and at the same time create a future with your partner, as long as it’s what you both want. People tend to fall in love at different rates; therefore, this could be an indication that you need to spend more time together before committing. But it’s important to know that even the longest of “trial periods” is no guarantee of a perfect marriage.

A lot of people are influenced by social media and romantic comedies — the ones where, at the last second, the guy realizes he’s madly in love with the protagonist and crosses the entire airport to stop her from leaving. We’re sorry to say, but relationships like this, beautiful ones, are rare.

How to solve: let go of expectations that if your partner is not a real prince, then you will not be happy. No one will ever fully fit your criteria, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find a good person. Nor does it mean that you should lower your standards and accept any kind of company in order not to be alone. It simply means that you must know how to recognize when you are in a stable relationship and accept that your partner is ideal for you, even if he has certain flaws.

It can be a mistake of youth to think that you have the rest of your life to do certain things. The truth is that time passes and does not forgive, so that, generally, people look at the past and regret the opportunities they missed.

How to solve: don’t postpone commitment to someone you feel comfortable with simply because you believe you’re still young, not ready, or because someone told you to wait a few years. You can continue to grow and have new experiences with your partner.

Our head has a gigantic power to help or destroy us, depending on how we program it. Self-sabotage is destructive and painful.

How to solve: you must learn to be kind to yourself, understand that it’s okay to receive affection and that there’s nothing wrong with saying “yes” to what makes you happy. Create your own love patterns.

Problems from the past can generate anxiety in an individual and even lead him to end a situation before he even started it. In other words, the person lives in fear due to past negative experiences. Because of this, you don’t give yourself an opportunity to let a new relationship blossom.

How to solve: everyone has bad experiences that mark their lives and the past is an important factor in predicting how someone might behave in the present or in the future. But you shouldn’t make every decision based solely on something that happened some time ago. This will only end up sabotaging your relationships.

Currently, it’s normal that you barely have a few minutes of the day to relax. After all, you usually spend your time between work, social commitments and other activities — like the gym, for example. This can lead you to think that maintaining a casual relationship is easier than taking the time to genuinely connect with your partner. A lot of people tend to imagine that when they have more time, they will, but know that this will probably never happen.

How to solve: try to better manage your time and eliminate the negative things in life. There are several ways to do this: lists, agendas or calendars to organize yourself efficiently.

Have you ever had to deal with any of these fears or been with someone who struggled to commit to the relationship? How did you handle this situation? Did they manage to overcome it and continue together?