Why do narcissists play victims?

Everything seems to happen to them. They will make you believe that no one understands them. What’s more, no matter how much you want to help them or go out of your way for these people, the truth is that you will never do enough to bring them real relief. And meanwhile, the one who will lose health, balance and well-being will be you.

If this situation sounds familiar to you, you will know what the cost is. Because living and sharing time, work space or family spheres with someone who shows a narcissistic personality disorder always leaves a mark. They are skilled strategists of manipulation.

On the other hand, we must keep in mind that this type of behavior can be highly harmful. Especially if that problematic figure is someone close to us, such as a father, mother or partner. They are individuals with an almost obsession delusional for interpreting almost anything as something intentional that seeks to harm them. This is how they exercise control over us…

Playing the victim is a basic strategy to manipulate any social relationship and obtain a benefit. They are people with an absolute lack of self-reflection and self-awareness.

How do narcissists work?

A narcissist has the fabulous and maddening quality of playing the victim after abusing you. That is, first he throws the rock at you and then he complains that his hand hurts because of the effort he had to make because of you. They long to show themselves to the world as perfect and powerful heroes, but to achieve this, they do not hesitate to victimize themselves.

Their behavior makes us desperate and annihilates our balance and psychological health; No doubt. They are skilled specialists in distorting truths to take them into their own territory, and make us look bad. For example, it happens in that mother who blames her son for neglecting her, when the first one only lives for her.

It also happens in that man or woman who reproaches his partner for never taking him into account, when in reality in that relationship only the needs of the narcissist count. Why do they act this way? It is important that we remember once again, that Narcissistic personality disorder seeks to hurt others to regulate its fragile self-esteem.

Causes of victimhood in this personality profile

Every individual with a personality disorder establishes problematic relationships with their environment. However, another striking fact. Research from the University of British Columbia indicates that Victimhood sometimes hides traits of the dark triad of personality.

If we ask ourselves why narcissists become victims, the cause lies in an instrumental purpose. Manipulating to achieve something in return is a recurring characteristic in these people. However, below we detail more reasons that explain this behavior:

Need for recognition. Others have to pay attention to them at all times and circumstances. Moral elitism. The narcissist perceives himself as someone with greater moral rights than others to be taken into account, cared for and valued. Tendency to ruminate. The person with this profile tends to turn things around obsessively. Everything is personalized, so that almost anything is processed as an offense. Poor sense of empathy towards others. Lack of self-awareness and self-reflection. The narcissist never takes responsibility for what he does. If anything happens, it is always the fault of the rest. Projecting blame onto third parties is their favorite manipulation strategy.

The true victims, that is, those who live with them, then become the culprits of all their discomforts and failures.

Narcissists play victims to continue being the heroes of their movies

Exercising victimhood gives power to those who apply it through deception. This is something the narcissist knows from a very young age. He who cries is consoled, he who laments is cared for, those who suffer are supported. And most importantly, the victim is rarely responsible for the tragedy that devastates him…

If there is something that the narcissist aspires to do, it is to reinforce his fragile self-esteem. and shine their desire for grandeur and status. To achieve this, she uses others in multiple ways: she manipulates, lies, blackmails…

Well, something we must keep in mind is what was previously stated: a victim is not to blame for what happens to them. Thus, When the narcissist fails or makes a mistake, he resorts to victimization to avoid responsibilities.. Even more, when he does not feel cared for or valued, he resorts to this behavior to make others feel guilty. Therefore, the narcissist always wins…

What can we do?

Narcissists play victims when it suits them, and the effect is exhausting. What can we do to mitigate or end these behaviors?

We could say that the best thing is to put distance. However, we already know that this is not always possible. Not when that figure is a family member, a boss or a co-worker.

Something we must understand is that the narcissist needs us to safeguard his self-esteem and reinforce his airs of grandeur. We are the food that nourishes his ego.

The strategy would be to ignore their dramas and not respond to their demands. They appeal to our empathy to dominate us because they lack this dimension. Let’s avoid reinforcing or giving truth to the false victim, because the one who loses in that relationship is always us…

You might be interested…