Why do I feel inferior to my partner?

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Low self-esteem is usually one of the most common causes when someone feels inferior to their partner, but it is not the only one. Discover them!

Do you feel inferior to your partner and don’t understand why? One of the possible explanations for this fact is a lack of self-confidence. According to psychologist Maribi Pereira, insecure people act in different ways. Some seek reinforcement from others to feel accepted by their environment, and others appear falsely secure, making others feel uncomfortable, questioned, or intimidated.

Thus, you may be the insecure person or your partner may be, using this last mechanism that Pereira comments on to make you feel inferior to her. However, most of the time it is an issue that has to do with oneself. Thus, Working on good self-esteem can save us from these types of problems.since there will always be people better than us in some field, and that doesn’t have to affect us!

The problem comes when this interferes with our well-being and really affects us. So, what would be some of the reasons why we feel inferior to our partner? We leave them here!

Why do I feel inferior to my partner?

“I feel inferior to my partner and I don’t understand why.” Does this thought often come to your mind? According to journalist Melanie Quintana, The most typical examples when we tend to feel inferior to our partner are the following:

Feeling “little” around him. Seeing him as more attractive than us. Compare his work with ours. Don’t stop thinking that he is more successful at work and socially than us. Seeing him as more fun or interesting. Compare his intelligence with ours.

Now, why does it happen? We are going to try to describe the most probable causes of this situation:

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You have low self-esteem

One of the possible reasons why you feel inferior to your partner is that you have low self-esteem. People with adequate self-esteem, self-confident, do not usually compare themselves with others, and much less do they feel inferior.

All people go through good and bad stages, in which self-esteem fluctuates throughout life. However, if we neglect it and it falters, this could generate feelings of inferiority compared to our partner (or anyone else).

You excessively idealize your partner

When we fall in love, we tend to idealize the other person. However, “overcoming” this stage of falling in love does not mean that we automatically stop idealizing our partner.

So, We can continue idealizing her long after falling in love. But, if this idealization is excessive, it can lead to certain problems, such as feeling inferior to it (which can be accentuated if we also have low self-esteem).

Could we be facing a Brunnhilde complex? According to Marián Carrero (2020), this phenomenon consists of an unconscious complex that appears when, in a relationship, the woman extremely praises her male partner, immersed in a deep love. In this way, she considers him a “superman” or a “superhero.” Or, in other words, the most extraordinary being on the planet.

You constantly compare yourself

When faced with the question “I feel inferior to my partner”, another possible cause that explains this phenomenon is the constant comparison with them. This point is related to the causes already mentioned, since the constant comparison with the partner, It is usually a product of low self-esteem and excessive idealization. When these three aspects come together, it is a perfect cocktail to make us feel inferior to her.

“Wanting to be someone else is wasting the person you are.”

-Marilyn Monroe-

We all compare ourselves at some point, however, it is harmful when we do it frequently and focus excessively on our weak points. Happy people are happy because they don’t care if others are better or worse than them.. So, if we decide to compare ourselves to others anyway, let’s do it for the better! Or to motivate us to be better.

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You have a narcissistic partner

What if your partner is narcissistic? This could also explain why you feel inferior to her (although, we insist, there is always a problem of basic self-insecurity that makes us feel this way). Narcissistic people can act by putting others down, even in a subtle way.

They may also question their partners, have a paternalistic attitude toward them, or even understand relationships as a power struggle in which one member has to be the winner.

I feel inferior to my partner: multiple causes

We have seen some of the most frequent causes that can explain this feeling of inferiority towards our partner. Melania Quintana, the journalist of NovaLife – Antenna 3, summarizes its possible origin as follows:

“Feeling inferior to our partner depends on many factors; It may be your thing, that you are already an insecure person; “You may have very idealized your partner, or it may be because you have encountered a narcissist and this is affecting your self-esteem.”

-Melanie Quintana-

It is clear that, whatever the cause, we must work to discover it, whether its origin is more related to you or your partner. Knowing it and being aware of how this problem interferes in your life are key factors to start working on it and feel better.

Remember: never forget your self-esteem! Take care of it by cultivating it and doing things that you like and make you feel good.