Why Daughters Feel Unloved

A mother who doesn’t like her daughter. A situation that only seems possible in families where parents have financial problems, chemical dependency or try to solve problems with alcoholic beverages. I had an absolutely normal childhood, I grew up in a complete family, without these kinds of problems. But despite everything, I believed that my mother did not love me. I thought we were very different people. I wanted to look pretty and my mother said the dress didn’t fit me. I did my best, but she said it wasn’t enough.

Today I wanted to tell the readers of incredible.club a story from my childhood to show how children see typical adult behavior, and how loneliness and feeling unloved arise.

My mother used to say: “I am very worried about your future!”

At that time I wanted to live in the present and enjoy life. My mother wanted me to be an economist, so while my friends played in the street and watched movies, I stayed at home with a math manual🇧🇷 I couldn’t concentrate on tasks: my friends were playing hide and seek and my favorite series were on TV. I tried to explain several times that math was not for me, but no one would listen to me. In the end, I entered the faculty of translation and interpretation.

My mother used to say: “You have to take more care of your appearance”.

She only noticed my flaws. Bad teeth (“Don’t smile so much!”), obesity (“You’re chubby! Shame on you!”), my posture (“Straighten your back!”). When I became an adult, I didn’t believe in compliments, I always thought they were lying or playing with me. So I married the first man who paid attention to me. I thought I had hit the jackpot, because he didn’t notice my flaws and even said I was pretty.

My mother used to say: “You are very closed”.

I envied my friends who could talk to their mothers about everything: a low grade, first love, whatever. But I couldn’t, because I had to deal with the embarrassment that arose at the time of the conversation. I wanted so much for my mom to make the first move, for us to be best friends. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

My mother used to say: “If something happens to you, I die.”

I went out at night very rarely. The world is a very dangerous place and my mother used to say that I brought disaster. She was sure I would walk in bad company. So, so that I wouldn’t have to deal with all these problems, she would take me to the school that was very close to our house. My friends and classmates laughed at me and I felt very ashamed.

My mother used to say: “I want you to have everything I didn’t have!”

My mom was always a great student, but I wasn’t. She couldn’t understand why I didn’t get straight A’s in every subject. For seven years, I attended a music school, because it was my mother’s dream to learn to play the piano, but her parents didn’t have any money.

I wanted to dance, but she said I had no talent.

My mother used to say: “I care a lot about you”

I never felt so helpless as in childhood. If I missed something, someone offended or hurt me, I never told my mother. I kept a lot of secrets and had to deal with everything myself. I always dreamed of having more support, but she only made things worse. Instead of saying, “Everything will be fine,” she blamed me all the time.

Now, my mother’s phrases are just memories. I understand that she wanted the best for me, but she didn’t know how to do that. I regret that my mother could not understand my feelings. I want my pain and lack of support to remain a secret for her, a story she has heard but never faced in her life. Let’s continue the same from her point of view, she — a perfect mother and I — a capricious child.

Time passed, and today my daughter went to a student party for the first time. It’s already 3 am and I can’t sleep. Is she in bad company? If something happens to her, I die.

And as my mother said: “You will understand everything when you have your daughter”.

Yes, now I understand, mother. I understand everything.