When silence is a lump in the throat

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Silence is part of communication, but for some people it becomes communication itself. Sometimes this is due to repression and that is why remaining silent is not a decision, but rather a lump in the throat that cannot be undone.

Silence always transmits, there is no doubt about that. Sometimes it is a sign of introspection or reserve. Other times it is a communicative decision: to remain silent because there is no place for words in certain circumstances. There are also those hard and deep silences, which represent a difficulty in expressing what one feels.

Thus, Silence is both a way of saying and a breakdown in communication.. Sometimes that need or obligation to remain silent can be painful. It’s like a lump in the throat that doesn’t come out because something is missing or something is left over. In fact, it is possible that the difficulty is that it is not clear what one wants to say, although there is also anxiety about not saying it.

Silence is often automatically associated with introversion, but one is not always an effect of the other. On some occasions, what is present is not the will to remain silent due to temperament but rather the difficulty in expressing. In other words, There is something to say, but also an obstacle to doing it.

“Noise is relative to the silence that precedes it. The more absolute the silence, the more terrifying the thunder”.

-Alan Moore, V for Vendetta-

Silence and the bond with others

Silence and communication are always referred to another or others. That is Where one is silent or one speaks there is also a social and perhaps emotional bond.. What makes communication flow or is repressed at a given moment is both the perception of that bond and the characteristics of that relationship.

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Words flow spontaneously wherever there is a horizontal and quality link. There is mutual trust and communication is welcome. There is an implicit conviction that there is the right to say and that there is also a willingness to listento some extent.

Under these conditions, a person does not drown out what he has to say. He may postpone his message, or modulate it, but he always ends up expressing it. And if you don’t, anyway, that is due to a free and conscious decision. Therefore, a lump in the throat does not form.

Being silent as an expression of resistance

Silence takes on another meaning in contexts in which unhealthy ties or ties marked by power prevail. If a person knows that “everything he says will be used against him,” he may conclude that silence is the means to avoid difficulties. However, he would rather say.

In vertical relationships, silence can also be a recurring command: “Shut up.” It is an imposition that implicitly carries the message that there are matters or circumstances in which there is no place for words or expression. In addition to being a mandate, it is also an implicit threat. Speaking can then become a risky challenge..

It is common for silenced children to later become silent adults. It is not clear that this absence of verbal communication is the effect of an introverted personality or that conformity by which “he who is silent grants.” Sometimes silence becomes a refuge from fear. Nothing is said to avoid putting oneself at risk.

Silence and scream

Many times things are not said because what one has to say is not considered valuable. Other times there is the idea that what is said will not be heard. Also It is possible that silence is passive-aggressive behaviorused to express rejection or anger that cannot be resolved.

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In all those cases what prevails is not really silence, but silencing. That is, a repression on the word. Sometimes it is born from the environment and other times it is something that is internalized after some experience; Therefore, even if the environment does not demand it, a person decides to remain silent out of fear or anger in most circumstances.

Added to this is an additional difficulty: communication is a skill and as such it develops to the extent that it is practiced. The ability to express oneself is something that is shaped throughout life.. If silence becomes the predominant form of expression, the cause may be a lack of speech skills.

It is common for the silence resulting from repression to become a scream at some point.. What is not said, wanting or needing to say it, sometimes ends up expressing itself in the body as an affection. Other times the floodgates break and the messages come out like avalanches that devastate everything.