What is aggressive communication?

Although the way we communicate with others does not define us, we can say that it is associated, at least in part, with our personality. There are three major communication styles: aggressive, passive and assertive. In this article we will focus on aggressive communication.

This communication style is based on abrupt interactions; In them, the person is not interested in what the other person wants or may think if these elements cannot be aligned in favor of his or her interests. Thus, it is normal that people who usually use this communication style do not have a very wide social circle or very close relationships. What else do we know about him?

Communication styles

Communication style has to do with how we interact with others, and how we express our ideasdesires, feelings… This communication style oscillates between two extremes: at one of these extremes, we find aggressive communication, and at the other, passive communication.

In the middle of these extremes we find the “ideal” communication, which would be assertive communication. But what do we understand by each of these communication styles? In summary, we can say that:

Aggressive communication: it is one in which the feelings of others are not considered. Assertive communication: it involves saying things defending our own rights and without offending, in a sincere and respectful way. Passive communication: one in which one is not able to express their true thoughts and desires for fear of confrontation with others.

What is aggressive communication?

Aggressive communication is that through which people They only take into account their own rights and feelings, without taking into account the feelings of others. Thus, when a person communicates through this communication style, he does so abruptly, without taking into account the rights of others.

That is, looking only for herself, for what she feels and needs. This type of communication can deteriorate the quality of social ties. Because?

Because it is a communicative style through which the other is not respected. In this sense, their self-esteem, dignity or sensitivity is not respected, and what is sought through aggressive communication is only to defend their own ideas or needs.

How do these people communicate?

This communicative style implies that one of the two parties of the interaction pretends to have control over the other. They are people who have a hard time listening, because when the other person speaks they are more concerned with “counterattacking” than with really listening.

On the other hand, these people often use aggressive language, both verbal and non-verbal; As we said, its purpose is to exercise certain control or dominance over the recipient or recipients of the message. How is your communication at a verbal and non-verbal level?

Verbal communication

People who frequently use this communication style, at a verbal level, They usually use a high tone of voice. They make comments that are offensive, disrespectful or even humiliating to the other.

They may articulate threats (for example: “If you don’t do what I want, there will be consequences.”) His aggression can be conveyed indirectly, for example through black humor, sarcastic comments full of resentment, malicious gossip…

Non-verbal communication

On a non-verbal level, these people They seek to maintain eye contact at all times with the other (they can intimidate the interlocutor). Thus, their gaze can be challenging or with an expression of dominance.

They do not listen to the interlocutor, they do not respect turns to speak… Their face may show a tense expression (with a frown). On the other hand, make threatening gestures with their hands and the body (for example, clenching the fist or pointing the finger in an accusatory manner). At a postural level, they are tense.

What message is actually conveyed?

In a book by Lega et al. (2002), the authors maintain that, when a person expresses himself through aggressive communication, what he is transmitting to the other are messages such as: «This is what I think», «This is what I want, what you want is not important»“This is what I feel, your feelings don’t count”…

These would be some examples of aggressive communication. But what are these people like? Do they have any kind of defining characteristic?

What are people with aggressive communication like?

Although it cannot be generalized, we can talk about some common characteristics in people who relate through this communication style. On the one hand, They are people who consider themselves superior to others (or more capable in X area), although often behind this “facade” low self-esteem is hidden.

They do not care about the rights or feelings of others (They tend to be selfish people, as well as have zero or very low empathy). In addition, they take advantage of others (exploit their interpersonal relationships for their own benefit), and can easily find themselves involved in conflicts or fights, due to their communication style.

And you, do you identify with this style of communication? Do you find it difficult to take others into account in your interactions and do you focus more on others listening to you?

Like everything, this way of communicating can change over time. This style of communication is actually not effective, because through it no communicative exchanges really occur (and much less healthy ones), but instead one (the aggressive one) expresses what he wants abruptly without listening to the other.

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