What image do you have of yourself?

There is one of the most important factors for mental health and for the results we can obtain, which is the following: what image do you have of yourself? How do you see yourself? What do you think about yourself? That is, who are you to you?

Imagine, there are people who are brilliant and who are insecure. There are people who are smart and think they are stupid, there are beautiful people who think they are ugly.

We can define this factor as self-image. Still others think of it as self-esteem. Regardless of the name, what matters is discovering the truth about the thoughts and values ​​attributed to oneself.

And why is what we think of ourselves so important? Because, as in the examples above, sometimes objectivity doesn’t matter. A person can be beautiful, but if he behaves like an ugly person, he almost manages to become ugly. Just like a super smart person, if he thinks he is incapable, he can self-sabotage, that is, he wastes all his potential just because he thinks he is not smart.

An excellent technique for gathering objective information about ourselves is to ask people we know what they think of us. Of course, we will hear responses of all kinds. But the exercise is even curious. Some will say the opposite of others. However, we will be able to find some characteristics that will be common and probably represent the way most people see us.

For example, lots and lots of people – who don’t know me, who know me a little and know me a lot – say that I’m a calm person. The calm, tranquility, peace that I experience is a very common assessment for me.

And what does this mean? It means that most people who know me see me this way. This can be an objective and real feature. But it is important to remember that each and every adjective is a comparison. I am calm because other people are more “nervous” or more “angry” or more “annoyed”. So, when comparing, you arrive at an adjective that qualifies my image for others.

Then start there. Ask many people what they think of you, or how they think your personality, your temperament, your behavior is. You will find very unusual answers. It will usually even be fun and surprising.

When we work with companies, we psychologists often ask the candidate to do a self-assessment by drawing a hand on a blank piece of paper, on one side, and on the back, another hand. And then on each finger the candidate has to write

– 5 positive traits

– 5 negative traits

Negative here means what can be changed, improved. Points to be worked on, things that bother us and others.

This is a self-assessment that everyone can use. Not just in job interviews or group dynamics. We can also add, 5 things we like and 5 things we don’t like. Anyway, we can make lists and lists of personality traits and, in the end, put it all together and come to a conclusion.

If we hear from others that we are this or that way, we can ask: is it that I am like that? Do I see myself this way? Does everyone see me the same? Or what is similar in all the images of me?

Profile on Social Networks

The world of technology changes very quickly. Before we sent emails, now we access facebook, twitter, google plus, skype to communicate with friends and relatives.

Our profile on social networks is also an interesting indicator of our self-image. What kind of photo did you choose to represent you on your profile? What photos are in your album?

Think of a profile with a shirtless boy showing off his ripped abs and think of a boy in a photo taken from a distance, a photo you have to open to see the face and it’s barely visible. It’s a big difference, isn’t it? Likewise, if we imagine a girl with her mother in her profile picture, another with ten friends, another on a beach and another with her boyfriend.

Of course, photos on profiles – and in albums – are dynamic, new ones are added, removed, cropped, modified. However, sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Despite this, the words About Me in profiles also say a lot.

On facebook it is very interesting to see what people like and share. There are people who share photos of the marijuana liberation march, others photos against a political party, others religious images, others photos of cute animals, etc. What do you share? What worldview do you want to share with others? This is also part of your profile, the image you are building for others.

the inner voice

In addition to all these activities that we can do or observe to think about self-image, self-esteem, the most effective is to observe the inner voice that some call the voice of conscience or even the “little angel” and “little devil” that keeps saying things For the good or for the bad.

Imagine your everyday life. You will wear an outfit. What do you think about your body? About how the clothes turned out? You are going to start a new activity, say a course or a job, what do you value? Will you make it, will it be soft or will it be heavy, difficult?

In these more than six years of clinical care as a psychologist, I had the opportunity to meet people who are very different from each other. I met people who thought they were better at everything. Others could barely leave the house because they thought they were ugly, fat, stupid. In the middle ground, though, is the biggest part.

I mean, the most common thing is to find people who think they are good, capable, competent in a certain area or activity and think they are terrible or horrible in others.

Answer then – what do you hear about yourself? How do you self-assess? Are they good things or bad things? Things that make you motivated or things that make you depressed?

Conclusion

In the text, we talk about self-image, self-esteem. I really wanted to write about this theme, again, because sometimes it’s not about changing the environment, changing a condition, a circumstance.

What’s the use of taking an extra course, having more money, having more friends, if deep down you think you’re no good? That is, self-assessment, what we say and think about who we are, is essential to improve our quality of life.

It may be that we already have all the external conditions for our happiness, such as a good family, a good home, good friends, decent material conditions, in short, but if we do not have a correct self-assessment, we may be suffering for nothing.

Of course, it’s not about evaluating yourself as the best person in the world, the most beautiful, intelligent or capable. In fact, we should never compare ourselves with others. The objective of this text was to show that it is extremely important to know how this self-assessment is going.

Many end up stopping when they could continue, many end up giving up on their dreams because they are afraid, many do not live well simply because they heard a negative or critical opinion. Anyway, we can change, we can do more. Starting by redoing, recreating thoughts and feelings about our self can be the first step towards change that will make all the difference.

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