What are social abilities?

Communication with others is essential for our survival, growth and harmony. Thus, having a series of social skills is essential and of great value in the world of today’s organizations.

According to David Deming, professor at Harvard University , We have reached a point in our society where to have a job or aspire to a relevant position, something more than technical skills is needed: social skills are required.

Get ready to understand how these skills shape our ways of interacting with the environment around us, while you learn to enhance them to stand out in this competent and dynamic world.

Definition of social skills

Now, what exactly are social skills? There are those who define them as those behavioral and communication traits that make us successful in life. However, more than success, we should talk about well-being, about knowing how to live in harmony, sharing experiences, communicating effectively and forming that social cohesion where agreements are reached.

According to the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, Social skills are a set of behaviors that allow us to interact and relate to others in an effective and satisfactory way..

An interesting aspect about them is that they can be learned, enhanced and developed day by day with practice. To do this, we must take into account that culture and sociodemographic variables are essential. Depending on where we are, habits and ways of relating change.

Therefore, it is not only important to have a good repertoire of social skills, but you also have to know when and where to put those skills into practice. The latter is known as social competence.

Thus, possessing these skills avoids anxiety in challenging social situations and promotes emotional communication, problem solving and interpersonal relationships.

However, the lack of any of them can lead to passive coping, avoidance of situations or giving in to the demands of others. Also, there is the risk of falling into aggressiveness, imposing opinions and violating the rights of those around us.

Types of social skills

There are a large number of social skills, but at a general level we can distinguish two types: basic social skills and complex social skills. Let’s see them in detail.

Basic abilities

They are those that form the basis or pillar of all interpersonal relationships. We highlight the most important ones:

Hear: hearing is not the same as listening. Only when we are able to actively, closely and empathetically attend to whoever is in front of us, do we shape that first step of our social interactions.Start a conversation: As curious as it may seem to us, knowing how to generate a correct opening in a conversation says a lot about us. It requires ease, courtesy, closeness, positivity and communication skills where you do not seem threatening or insecure, but quite the opposite.Ask a question: Knowing how to ask is knowing how to complain and also make use of adequate assertiveness. This social competence is one of the first things that children are taught in classrooms and the ones that can help us the most in our daily lives, in almost any context.Give the thanks: Knowing how to recognize the other is a basic dynamic in any personal or professional relationship. It is civility and it is respect.Introduce yourself and other people: We do it in our contexts of friendship and family, but also in the workplace or academic environment. Knowing how to introduce ourselves or others is a very important basic skill.Make appointments: The ability to place an event in the future with other people is a very useful skill when managing daily life in relation to others. From making an appointment with the doctor to meeting with a client to close a sale, these are necessary and useful actions.

Complex skills

It must be taken into account that It is necessary to learn the first to develop the second type of social skills. Each situation will demand one or the other, depending on their characteristics and difficulty.

Empathy and emotional intelligence: These skills are essential in any dynamic and circumstance. They nourish our relationships in an exceptional way and, without a doubt, we must know how to practice effectively.Assertiveness: andIn a complex world such as social relationships, knowing how to defend ourselves with respect, talk about our needs, communicate, listen and also take care of the rights of others, is a highly valuable skill.Ability to define a problem, negotiate and evaluate solutions: andThis dimension is something that we should all practice daily and maximize. In this way, we could reach agreements more easily, negotiate and establish goals where both parties win.Ask for help: Becoming aware that we do not know everything, that we need advice, support or other dimensions is an act of maturity. Knowing how to ask for it effectively is an example of good mastery of social skills.Convince others: knowing how to convince, is not manipulating. It is knowing how to argue, connect and reach an understanding where making the other see that a certain behavior or act can be more beneficial. Creating impact and doing it with respect is an art worth learning.Self-affirmation: Being sure of one’s own decisions and beliefs, as well as being able to defend them and claim one’s rights, are very necessary skills for survival in society.

The development of social skills

A person’s social skills are influenced by their environment and childhood experiences. During this stage, interactions with family and significant attachment figures play a fundamental role in the formation of social skills.

Throughout childhood and adolescence, people learn how to interact with others, how to express their emotions appropriately, how to resolve conflicts, and how to establish empathetic and respectful relationships.

In this way, if from a young age we learned to feel shame, instead of security; anger, instead of understanding or to be selfish, instead of empathetic; It is very likely that in adulthood we will not have the social skills necessary to relate assertively.

Therefore, upbringing and the family environment are key in the development of these skills. According to a work published in Psychospacesthe characteristics of affectivity, family communication and parental education styles affect the formation of different psychosocial skills In the kids. Like all behavior, this can be learned and enhanced.

Activities to work on social skills

There are some effective techniques that can help us work on social skills. Below, we present three:

Emotional recognition: This exercise consists of putting together a series of images where one or more people appear, and then try to recognize the emotions they are showing. The person can try to define what that emotion consists of and name its most common manifestations.Emotional reaction to situations: consists in Identify what is the correct reaction in certain situations. To do this, we can make a list of everyday circumstances to then identify which is the most suitable emotional response. Another tool that can be used is the fog bank technique.What expression does it have?: It consists of putting together a series of images where one or more people appear and a more or less obvious situation is reflected. For example, a group at a work meeting, studying or at a party. Then, We proceed to hide the face of one of them and propose three expression options where only one will be correct.. In this case, the person must choose the expression that hides the photo.

Importance of good management of social skills

There are numerous benefits that we obtain by putting them into practice, such as ensuring that they do not prevent us from achieving our objectives, knowing how to express ourselves and taking into account the interests, needs and feelings of others. Also It will help us communicate effectively with others and facilitate good self-esteem.

From what we can observe, social skills are present in our daily lives and their good management makes us more competent for today’s society. So learning and developing these skills in yourself is essential.. Remember that it is never too late to start!

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