To get rid of what torments my head, I must first remove it from my heart.

They say that wanting to forget is to remember forever and they are completely right. Trying to get rid of our feelings is an adventure that can end in tragedy. An emotional suicide, a true madness…

The truth is Trying to forget a thought is not the same as trying to forget a feeling or an emotion. We can achieve the first thing, just by getting used to thinking about other things, imagining or telling ourselves “STOP” when something comes to our mind.

However, trying to suppress our emotions and what they entail is denying ourselves reality and not assuming the learning that is presented to us. That is, that Trying to inhibit or get rid of what we feel at all costs encourages everything we try to avoid.

Wanting to forget is deceiving yourself

Many times wanting to forget is unconsciously feeding the fixation on that person., try not to give up what made us or makes us feel his presence or his memory. However, what we are trying to forget may not be a person, but a sensation.

Each emotion and each memory makes us pay attention to our deepest self, the one we renounce and avoid paying attention to on a daily basis. That is why it is so complicated to understand it, because many times our conscience and our words are incapable of understanding what overflows the soul.

These situations require very intense inner work that will surely make us uncomfortable. We have to be aware that it is likely that we have mixed feelings, that we can get angry with ourselves and with the world, that we feel anger, jealousy and all kinds of emotions that our morality punishes.

This is natural, so we have to try to assume it with total normality. We cannot occupy our minds in avoiding our emotions, because it is something impossible and really dangerous.

What we have to do is learn to manage them, control our behaviors and promote our well-being. Working in this direction means not trying to feel good at all costs, but trying to tolerate what our heart feels.

Remember what left a mark on us

The solution is to understand to remember without pain, not to try to avoid pain. The heart only heals when we manage to keep the good moments in memory.

What hurts is not remembering those moments, but the loss of someone we loved or a feeling that disappeared and we were unable to capture. The essence of the air that we breathed in his presence, the smell of that oxygen that we counted on to infinity a thousand times.

By carrying out the psychological effort of understanding that people come and go, we will realize that The important thing is what has entered within us, because it will always remain.

When we are able to take that step we are able to feel everything that we have already made ours, that which makes the difference, that brings us back to life and that makes up the before and after.

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