Tinderella syndrome or the pleasure of seducing without specifying anything

Tinderella syndrome is based on the union of two terms: Tinder and Cinderella. Psychology has decided to give a name to this type of people who limit themselves to enjoying the flirting phase that this type of apps provides them, but without ever making a date. In this way, and when they consider it so, they end up practicing “Ghosting”, that is, they disappear without giving explanations…

Something that most of us know is that love in times of the Internet puts new practices and dynamics into operation that do not go unnoticed by psychologists, sociologists and anthropologists. New labels, new names are therefore needed to give shape to other behavioral patterns that, obviously, did not occur in previous generations.

The fact that this is so is neither good nor bad, it is just different. Now we have many more possibilities to meet people and to be even more selective when looking for a partner. We select profiles, do searches, compare and make more or less thoughtful selections to wait for the desired “match” with which to move shortly after to a new stage in which to begin communicating with that person who has caught our attention.

For many, it is little more than fun marketing. These dating apps offer us the opportunity to separate love from sex and keep the latter if we feel like it. Also continue in our efforts to find a lasting relationship, which in some cases occurs. In fact, most of us know beautiful stories that began this way.

Now, in recent years, Psychologists such as Jenny Stallard and Emma Kenny have been observing another type of dynamic that they have wanted to make visible through a very striking name: Tinderella. They are people who never manage to make a date, profiles that only enjoy the simple flirtation and intimacy established through virtual channels…

Tinderella syndrome, the pleasure of flirting with someone I’m not going to meet

It seems like a big contradiction and yet it happens much more than we think. Why register for one? app to flirt or find a partner if in the end one does not intend to meet that person face to face? Basically because that initial phase full of novelty, discoveries, contrast of interests and midnight conversations are more than enough and satisfactory for some.

Now, an even more interesting element is added to Tinderella syndrome: It is common for tinderellos to flirt with several people at the same time.and who are continually looking for new options, new couples who will replace others when they decide “disappear” without giving explanation.

Let’s see below more characteristics that define this type of behavior.

They find the process of searching for and selecting partners through dating apps more stimulating than meeting people physically and face to face. In real life, the tinderella They often lack social skills.They tend to be fascinating and very interesting in the universe “online”, to the point of generating high expectations in those potential couples waiting for a date “offline” which, obviously, never happens. Generally, Tinderellas quickly lose interest in these people. They end up practicing the Ghosting from one day to the next without giving explanations but leaving behind false promises.

Love in the time of Tinder

We said it at the beginning, love in times of the Internet, and specifically in the era of Tinder, has brought to light new challenges for many psychologists. As striking as it may seem to us, There are people who are forced to grieve for a relationship that never happened.

They are phantom and fruitless relationships that occur after having been there for a certain amount of time. “chatting” or sharing confidences, plans and dreams with other people whom they have not met physically. However, heThe expectations for that relationship were so high that after the disappearance “online” From the other member, the grief is tremendous.

All of this is happening at this very moment and it is an obvious reality. Now, the problem itself is not in that person who is the victim of Ghosting, at all. Behind Tinderella syndrome is that indecisive and insecure personality, perhaps with social phobia or with an immature vision of what human relationships are.

The fact of having 5 or 20 “suitors” on Tinder or the vision of having dozens of conversations on your WhatsApp in which to immerse yourself to flirt, seduce or awaken false illusions, is a very juicy incentive for many of these people. They are positive reinforcements where there is no obligation, where the game of seduction is constant without the need to consolidate anything else.

The tinderello or the tinderella will live ad aeternam in the illusion of a childish and capricious love; leaving, yes, countless victims in their wake. One more reality to take into account in a complex and always changing society…

You might be interested…