These are the people who only call you when they need it

The interested people are those who they systematically use others to achieve something. Furthermore, when the rest need them, they are usually not there.

Thus, they hardly invest their energy in a company that does not bring them a direct benefit. His interests always come first, being light years ahead of others. Now, more specifically, what else characterizes the profile of these people? How can we identify them?

What are the interested people like?

Although each person is different (and by generalizing we assume a considerable risk), the truth is that these types of people share a series of common traits. They are the following.

1. They use others

Interested people build unbalanced relationships to get the other to do what they want or need.

The basic characteristic of self-interested people is that they use others for their own benefit. If they relate to certain people, and not others, it is for a reason; to get something that benefits them.

Therefore, they choose their friends and relationships based on their interests. Thus, build unbalanced relationships and in which they do not seek to share or open themselves to the other, but rather to get the other to do or give them what they need.

2. They are self-centered and absorbing

While they look to others to obtain some benefit or cover some need, they tend to be selfish people, who They think a lot about themselves, but not about others. They can also be self-centered, since everything revolves around them. On the other hand, the needs of others are usually not important.

Another characteristic of interested people is that they are absorbent. Once they contact the person from which they want to obtain a benefitthey spend many hours with her, they absorb him and the other hardly notices.

3. They are complacent and manipulative

They tend to be complacent at first; With this, they intend to gain our trust and generate a feeling of debt in us.. Thus, they can “laugh” at us for all our thanks and respond quickly to our requests, to, little by little, manipulate us and end up getting what they want.

They can also be manipulative because they end up getting the other person to do something they want or need without the other hardly realizing it. As? Resorting to manipulation, victimhood, blackmail… That is, they have a goal and they do whatever it takes to achieve it.

In this sense, they usually have a lot of talk, the ability to convince, connect with others… They use their “gifts” for their own benefit.

4. They can be victimists

We have seen that they are people who can be manipulative; Thus, they can also act with a lot of victimhood.

They disguise reality or distort it to appear as the “victims”, in order to generate pity or tenderness in the other and thus obtain what they want (attention, something material… whatever they want to get or obtain).

5. They assume that we are going to help them

Another characteristic of interested people, which some of them express, is that they assume from the beginning that we are going to help them.

Sometimes they express it, and other times they don’t, but in any case they have it very internalized. If they state it openly from the beginning, It’s because they throw a “nose” at the matterand from that impudence the other person may feel pressured when it comes to pleasing them.

Interested people are complacent and manipulative to get what they want.

6. When we need them, they disappear

Another characteristic of these people is that, when we need them, they disappear (no matter how much we have helped them). It is very difficult for them to be available because In their scale of priorities, our well-being is far behind.

This stems from their selfishness, their lack of interest in establishing equitable relationships where both parties give and receive. The truth is They want us to get something, not because of how we are or who we are..

The origin of many toxic relationships

And you, have you ever met an interested person? Was it difficult for you to identify it? How did you act? The truth is that these types of people generate a lot of exhaustion and other feelings such as anger or frustration.

We generate unequal (or dependent) toxic relationships with them, since in reality the other only wants us to achieve something. But they are not healthy relationships of friendship, but of pure interest.

Reasons to detect interested people

That is why it is so important that we can learn to identify these people and, above all, that we can determine which people we want in our lives, and which we do not. And let us stay only with the first ones, for everything they give us.

We can achieve this through personal work, in which we enhance our self-esteem, our assertiveness (the essential tool for learning to set limits) and self-knowledge. All these cultivated areas of our life They will allow us to decide more clearly what we value in people and for what reasons some should be in our lives and others should not.

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