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The psychology of the gift: tell me what you are giving and I will tell you who you are

Our personality permeates everything we are and do. Therefore, in the act of giving a gift we reveal a lot of information about ourselves.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

The psychology of gifting shows a relationship between our personality and the type of gifts we offer. Not only the content of the present is relevant, but also the presentation and costs of all kinds play an important role.

Do you plan gifts in advance or do you go on the fly? Do you try to add a personal touch or do you prioritize monetary value? All the aspects involved in the gift-giving process can help us take an internal x-ray of the person giving the gift.. Let’s look at it more closely.

What is better, giving or receiving gifts?

The act of giving or being given something is special for both parties. The one who gives the gift gets the satisfaction of seeing that the other enjoys it, and at the same time, the one who receives the gift feels the other’s affection through it.

In fact, giving gifts strengthens the bonds of the relationship as well as trust. According to a study published in 2020, exchanging gifts before completing a task improved cognitive performance and cooperative behaviors.

At the brain level, an increase in the irrigation of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex was detected: the area most related to motor planning, organization and regulation of behavior.

Therefore, both giving gifts and receiving them are equally beneficial. The fact that some people prefer one or the other is explained by individual differences in the way they relate to others.

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Gift psychology

Giving gifts can be seen as a social contract or as an act of mutual appreciation. In any case There are four key components that determine our way of giving and, therefore, our personality.

Financial costs: the monetary value of the gift we choose.Time spent in acquiring or preparing the gift.Mental energy invested in planning and choosing a gift suitable for the recipient.Physical costs necessary to achieve the present.

Some research has found that, When receiving a gift, people value the investment of time, mental and physical energy more. The monetary value seems to be the least taken into account aspect. However, it all depends on the situation and the people involved.

In any case, The greater or lesser involvement of each individual in these areas helps us create a profile of their personality.. Those who prioritize the money invested in the gift will surely be different in many ways from those who choose to dedicate their time to achieving the perfect gift. Those who plan what they are going to give months in advance will differ from those people who prefer to be more spontaneous but more creative and use all their physical energy to achieve the present.

Narcissistic traits

People with narcissistic traits consider themselves superior to others and deserving of everything good in life. This is also reflected in their way of giving, since They try to make their gift as unique as they feel. They will never opt for simple or conventional items, they prefer something exclusive and unforgettable.

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They generally choose expensive, large or ostentatious gifts.. They will think carefully about what to give to leave a positive and lasting impression on the recipient. For this reason, it is also common for them to spend time ensuring that the wrapping and presentation of the gift are equally impressive.

Big heart

For this type of people, the most important thing is the emotional component of the gift, with it they seek to demonstrate their affection towards the recipient.. Because of this, they dedicate a great effort to finding something that really excites the other person and suits their tastes and interests. They will not pay attention to the price, since sentimental value is their top priority.

It is also very common for them to give gifts made by their own hands or personalized somehow. They are the type of people who enjoy wrapping gifts themselves and adding cards and dedications.

Lack of empathy

People with little empathy approach the act of giving as a gift almost as a social commitment. They do not worry about analyzing the recipient’s tastes and tend to buy something easy, quick and impersonal.. In addition, they tend to leave everything until the last minute and, most of the time, they do not take care of the presentation or the details.

Perfectionism

Perfectionist people aspire to excellence and do not tolerate failures. Thus, They will take special care to ensure that the gift is in perfect condition and the presentation is impeccable.. An imperfection in the packaging will be reason enough to exchange it for another.

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To meet these exacting standards, they will begin planning the gift well in advance. This way they make sure they have enough time to have everything under control and solve any unforeseen events.

The psychology of the gift outlines, but does not sentence

From all these elements we can get an idea of ​​the personality profile of the person who gives us a gift. However, It is necessary to take into account many other aspects of their behavior in other areas of their life to classify someone as very or not very empathetic, narcissistic or humble.

Let’s enjoy the gifts that others give us and try to put the best of ourselves into the reverse situation. After all, Giving is an excellent way to strengthen social ties.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Robben, HS, & Verhallen, TM (1994). Behavioral costs as determinants of cost perception and preference formation for gifts to receive and gifts to give. Journal of economic Psychology, 15(2), 333-350.Mosquera, D. (2008). Narcissistic personalities and personalities with narcissistic traits. Persona Magazine, 8(2).Balconi, M., Fronda, G., & Vanutelli, ME (2019). A gift for gratitude and cooperative behavior: brain and cognitive effects. Social cognitive and affective neuroscience, 14(12), 1317-1327.

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