The beautiful thing is not the eyes, it is the looks

In Jhon Koening’s dictionary of dark emotions, a name is given to a complex emotion, which is what we feel when we pass another person on the street and look into each other’s eyes for a few seconds. It seems like they are spying on us or that we are spying through a small hole in the wall and that makes us feel vulnerable. The emotion now has a name: opia. Because It is not the eyes that radiate beauty, but the looks.

When we travel by train, are sitting in a restaurant or walk through our city, we come across very different people and sometimes we exchange glances, even without realizing it. The looks say many things about usthey give us away when we are sad, angry, in love, worried or tired.

Discover what’s behind a look

If we sit in front of a person, ask them how they feel and they smile at us, perhaps if we look into their eyes we can see that that smile is not real, that it does not accompany what the person really feels. Looks are part of non-verbal communication and teach us many things about others.

Eye movements have been studied by Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), which has called this language of the eyes “eye access codes.” Bandler and Gringer, the founders of NLP, watched a multitude of videos to decipher the meaning of eye movements.

They came to a clear conclusion: Depending on the type of eye movement, people may be using different parts of the brain and different senses, which is why we talk about four different processing systems:

Visual

In general, When a person looks to the upper right they are building an image. On the other hand, if you look at the top left, you are remembering an image.

Auditory

A person who remembers sounds looks to the left and if you build them to the right. On many occasions, this eye movement is accompanied by a tilt of the head.

Kinesthetic

If a person looks to the bottom right it means they are accessing their feelings, for example, when we are sad we tend to look down.

Auditory-digital

In this sense, If we look at the lower left, we are talking about ourselves.

But not all people work that way, and sometimes even different processing systems are combined, so we have to be careful when we generalize.

To find out how a person works we can ask simple questions, For example: how do you imagine your work in the future? In this way we will see how to react to visual creations and we will have a starting point to interpret their ways of looking.

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The power of looks

A look can be interpreted in many waysbut it can also convey many feelings and emotions.

In 2014, Magazine Psychology Today published an article in which he presented the conclusions that had been reached about the power of looks. The conclusions are summarized in five sections:

1. Eye contact excites

If we stare into the eyes of another person we generate a feeling of excitement, although the interpretation of the look will depend on the context in which we find ourselves.

If a person we don’t know looks at us for a long time and intently, We can interpret it as a threat or danger and feel afraid. However, if it is a person we know and like, an intense look can produce sexual arousal.

2. The eyes reveal whether a smile is honest or not

To distinguish whether a smile is honest or not, psychologist Paul Ekman maintains that you have to observe the look. If a smile is honest and sincere, the eyes narrow and crow’s feet are generated at the ends.

3. Pupil dilation denotes interest

If a person is interested, the pupils dilate, and that dilation makes us look attractive. In this sense, a study was carried out in which two photos of a woman were shown and in one of them the size of her pupils was artificially altered. The result was that the photo in which the woman appeared with the most dilated pupils was considered more attractive.

4. The mutual gaze is a sign of love

Research has found that looking at each other intensely is a sign of mutual interest. That look held between two people who already know each other denotes admiration and love..

5. Eye contact can be deceiving

It has always been thought that people who lie look away, but in reality, A lying person puts all his energy into making his interlocutor believe him, so he looks more intensely into the eyes. On the contrary, whoever tells the truth does not need to prove anything, so he may become distracted and look somewhere else instead of looking into the eyes of his interlocutor.

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