Some people think they’re always right

Understand why some people always want to be right and why almost everyone has this tendency a little and also why this is not always interesting for relationships

Hello friends!

The title of this text is the beginning of a Strokes song called You only live once (You only live once). The beginning of the song says: “Some people think they’re always right” which, in free translation, would be – Some people think they’re always right. Some readers have been asking me to talk about this topic for some time now.

Before we start, I would like to say that we must include ourselves in the equation, that is, think that we also like to be right, we also like not to be contradicted, criticized, corrected and this is due to a simple principle: we confuse what we think and what we say with who we are.

It is as if we equated two variables: thought = being. As if we have the belief that what we think constitutes who we are. It is not difficult to visualize this belief in people and in most people in the world.

For example, someone who supports Flamengo has the thought: “Flamengo is the best team in Brazil”. And, unconsciously or not, he associates who he is with this thought: “I am a flamenguista”. The next step is to try to always defend your team. In extreme cases, due to the association with who the person thinks they are, this can lead to violence.

Well, this is a simple example to understand why we can try to defend our thoughts, our beliefs, our ideas tooth and nail. But what makes someone think they are always, always, always right?

Some people think they’re always right

Despite the reason we want to be right, to be right in what we think, is the relationship between thinking and being, there is still a difference between people who are relatively calm in defending their points of view and others who need always have the final say.

The explanation for the difference lies in the difference in personality. In characteristics that are present, such as a tendency to be stubborn, obstinate, firm, secure or insecure, having more or less empathy. Like every vice and every virtue, everything has two sides.

Being stubborn and wanting to go to the extreme to prove yourself right can be a sign of great perseverance and future success. Or it could be tremendously stupid. Just as being fickle and agreeing with the other because he defends a contrary point of view can appease tempers or represent laziness or fear of being contradicted or criticized.

The problem with always being right is that this generates personal dissatisfaction – when you are contradicted – and can cause several unnecessary interpersonal conflicts. It is only necessary to think about love relationships to quickly understand that that couple who have constant fights about who is right will go through problems and separations. And then it still remains separated by the pride of who will apologize first or confess that they were wrong…

Conclusion

Not always being right, having the last word is necessary. The most secure and confident person is not the one who seems to win, but the one who can look beyond and see that it is silly to create a fight and a misunderstanding just because opinions can differ. After all, we don’t need to agree on everything to create harmonious relationships.

As in football, there are other areas that are sensitive to disagreements such as politics, philosophy and religion. However, in my opinion this does not mean that we should not deal with these issues, as they are important issues and we learn a lot in the dialogue with those around us.

Knowing that there is a difference between thinking and being, a fundamental difference, and remembering this principle that the fact that we think does not mean a total identity with thought, we are freer to have all kinds of thoughts. The rational person, who really thinks, is not the one who is always right, but the one who manages to change his thinking according to circumstances, with the emergence of other facts or ideals or even to think the thought.

As Jung said, the thinking type is not always very clear and often does not try to have the last word. And as Joyce said, the act of thinking is letting go of thought no matter the direction. That is, we can think even what we don’t agree with…

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