Signs of emotional abandonment in the couple

Emotional abandonment in a couple is a common reality that can be devastating. In this article we analyze the different circumstances that determine it.

Emotional abandonment in a couple often goes unnoticed because it is camouflaged behind daily routines and obligations.. Some distancing is normal, especially when the relationship is years old; Even so, when one of the members of the couple stops attending to the needs of the other, the matter is more serious.

We all know that the effervescence of falling in love is temporary and that later come more measured stages where it is logical that there will be disagreements. Nor is one an adopter who has to take care of the other. But emotional abandonment in a couple is something else. It means that the relationship has become a source of suffering for one of the two.

“Do not abandon your boat in the sea of luck, keep rowing but row with ease and reflect once again”.

-Augusto Platen Hallermünde-

Undoubtedly, When there is emotional abandonment in the couple it is because the relationship is on the verge of entering intensive care. Nothing can replace that emotional enjoyment that comes from being important to another. How do we know if our relationship is going through a situation like this? Here we analyze it.

Emotional abandonment in the couple

First of all, let’s clarify what emotional abandonment in a couple is. Such abandonment It is configured when one of the members of the couple is not emotionally available to the other.

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This manifests itself mainly as indifference and lack of empathy.. In other words, there are no expressions of affection towards the other and no interest or willingness to understand their reality. That is, their feelings, their problems, their achievements, etc.

Emotional abandonment as such must manifest itself over a relatively long period of time.. Sometimes the couple is a little absent from the relationship due to their own difficulties or the processes they are experiencing. And all it takes is for a situation to be overcome or dialogue to be raised for this to stop happening.

When there is emotional abandonment in the couple, the physical and/or emotional absence of one of the members becomes chronic. This can be devastating for the other. Especially because on many occasions the person who leaves their partner aside refuses to recognize that they are doing it.

Signs of abandonment

There are several signs that reveal emotional abandonment in a couple.. Most of the time they are not very obvious. Rather, these are attitudes that at times pass without leaving a trace, but that, sustained continuously, create a hurtful reality.

The main signs of emotional abandonment in a couple are:

They only talk about routine topics and only do so in passing.. They do not sit down to talk, even though one of them wants to. When they meet with other people, one of them ignores the other and talks to the others.One does not respond to the other’s expressions of affection. or they do it with an evident lack of motivation. One of the two knows very little about the other’s life, despite showing interest in receiving information about it.One of the two does not feel that they can count on the other if they are in trouble.. When he comments on them, the other does not show interest, nor does he participate with ideas, proposals or expressions of affection.One of the two feels immensely aloneeven if you have your partner.

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A lost case?

Contrary to what you may think, emotional abandonment is not always a sign that there is no love.. Nor is everything necessarily because there is a third person or because the relationship is too worn out. In many cases there are psychological factors that affect the situation.

Many people do not have the psychological resources to build a true bond of intimacy within a couple.. In fact, the more they care about someone, the more quickly they put up barriers and try to isolate themselves.

They do it as a defense mechanism because in their past there are unexplained traumas or a great lack of self-esteem. They think they will be hurt or abandoned. That’s why they quit first.

It is also possible that abandonment is a way of complaining about some past difficulty that was not completely resolved between the two.. Or simply the obligations are so overwhelming, or work life so frustrating, that there is no room for the other due to fatigue or lack of emotional resources.

If you feel in a situation of emotional abandonment in your relationship, the important thing is that you do not rush to jump to conclusions.. Try to objectively evaluate what is happening and look for a way to bring it up to the other, with love and without prejudice.