Secret relationships, a dangerous charm

The secret relationships have in common the fact that they are supported by a prohibition. This factor almost always gives them encouragement and makes them more intense. Sometimes, in fact, they only exist and are maintained based on that transgression that, if it did not exist, would take away the essence of those secret loves.

The other usual element in secret relationships is that They occur in a context in which rigidity in rules prevails or behavioral guidelines. Otherwise, there would be no reason to hide something as beautiful as love. Therefore, the expectation of a negative, or even disastrous, consequence if they are discovered is present.

All of these factors in themselves give a special charisma to secret relationships. They are marked by the dark mantle of conflict, or tragedy, as a backdrop. At the same time, unlike other relationships, they imply an additional challenge, a kind of dangerous game that gives them a questionable charm.

Secret relationships have an extra prohibition that many people enjoy and seek in their own way.

Secret relationships

The trigger for secret relationships is the existence of an “other” who opposes that bond.. Sometimes that other person is the family, a certain social or cultural circle, religion or a previous partner. At the same time, there is a strong feeling that is superior to that opposition and, therefore, leads to challenging it.

What is feared or avoided with respect to that “other” who opposes is not always the same. Sometimes there is fear because their rejection reaction can be aggressive or even violent. Other times it is thought that the situation could lead to significant distance and even ostracism, and one does not want to pay that price.

It is also possible that there is only the desire not to hurt that other person.. There is awareness that the relationship that is maintained can cause grief or pain to that person and we want to prevent that from happening. It is not uncommon for there to also be people who seek clandestine relationships, but they don’t really know why.

A confusing ambiguity

Secret relationships, at least between adults, They are an option that usually has an unfortunate outcome. The most complex thing about them is that they do not allow us to establish to what extent they are sustained as a form of transgression in the face of a reality that is rejected and to what extent they are the fruit of true love.

Sometimes a clandestine relationship offers the opportunity to escape from another reality that is not accepted or that is deplored. In these conditions, the bond becomes a means of escape and that is why it can become very strong. It is not so much the real love that is there, but the desire or need to escape from another situation that is intolerable.

Coupled with this is the fact that You don’t want to take responsibility for something you don’t agree with.. So that ends up being faced through the parallel path of concealment. Secret relationships are a challenge in themselves, but this one remains halfway.

It also happens that these types of links are used to minimize or degrade that other, be it a person, an institution or an employer. There may be repressed anger or resentment that takes its toll through the kind of betrayal that occurs in these cases. This supposed “exit” also leads nowhere.

Secret relationships can be an escape from reality.

Cope and love

A couple needs to evolve in freedom to know the true scope and depth of their bond.. It is voluntarily and freely that each one can be as they really are and know the other authentically. Likewise, only in this way can progress be made in the different stages of a relationship.

Secret relationships usually lead to many mistakes. They also imply the beginning of a chain of lies and deceptions in front of the world to keep that link hidden. A kind of limbo is thus formed that can be very exultant at certain moments, but in the end it entangles life.

Love is a sufficient reason to take courage and face what must be faced.; to take responsibility for what you feel. Going down the dark path of secrecy could be the way to boycott the same relationship, since it will not end up finding ways to grow and become full.

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