Recognition, the key to dignity and self-esteem

We all need recognition. First of ourselves to validate ourselves in our capabilities, image and worth. Likewise, recognition is also that pillar with which to establish the foundations of self-esteem in children, the boost that the employee needs in their work and the bond that will build a solid relationship between the couple, where we know we are loved, valued, appreciated…

The concept of recognition, as curious as it may seem to us, sometimes gives rise to some misunderstanding. There are those who see it as a negative dimension, because people who continually seek positive reinforcement from others are incapable of maintaining adequate emotional independence. They are, in the eyes of many, personalities who build their self-esteem based on the answers offered by others.

Well, it must be said that the key to all this is balance. Because if there is something that we cannot rule out, it is the great relevance that recognition has in our relational, social and emotional fabric. It’s more, If we now remember Maslow’s pyramid of needs we will see that recognition occupies a prominent place. It is at this point in the hierarchy where that subtle harmony is contained between self-recognition or the ability to feel competent with ourselves with the importance of others also valuing what we are and do.

Recognition, a form of personal and social dignity

The human being lives in a constant duality. We all like to feel present in an environment, but at the same time, we also enjoy being absent, feeling free, independent and sometimes separated from our daily settings. However, something that no one can like is being invisible. Be that figure that no one sees or appreciates, that is not taken into account.

The child who lives in the back rows of the classroom, in a corner of the playground with no one to talk to, no one with whom to enjoy a rich and colorful childhood knows this well. The teenager who no one values ​​but whom everyone punishes knows it. And the person who does not feel valued by their partner knows this well, who lives in the storage room of the deepest loneliness and emotional confusion. Recognition is a psychic tendon that validates us with our reference groups and that, in turn, dignifies us as people.

Because to recognize someone is to make them visible. It is giving it presence, it is allowing it to “be”, “be” and create oneself in freedom.. It is appreciating someone for what they are, giving them an affection that promotes personal growth, but that does not restrict or invalidate. Recognition generates self-acceptance so that, in some way, we can also further strengthen the muscle of our self-esteem.

On the other hand, one aspect that we cannot forget about self-esteem is that this self-evaluative perception also includes the way we believe others see us. One thing cannot be separated from the other. We are social beings and what others tell us or think about us will influence us in one way or another.

Recognition is important, but we cannot depend exclusively on it

We are aware that few things can be more painful than rejection. Experiencing abandonment or contempt within our reference social group sets off our alarms and the panic button. Because unchosen loneliness, isolation caused by unhealthy, negative or neglected relationships, generate suffering. Now, as we pointed out at the beginning, People must reconcile the recognition that we give ourselves with that which we receive from others..

Focusing our lifestyle based solely on external positive reinforcement generates dependence and discomfort. Therefore, it is important that we remember a simple aspect. The quality with which we recognize ourselves will in turn influence the way in which others value us.. Let’s give some examples. The employee who trusts in his abilities, who feels skilled and confident will create a positive impact on his work environment. His performance will be good and, on average, others will recognize his efforts.

Another example. The person who values ​​himself, who feels fulfilled, free and autonomous, builds much more solid emotional relationships. This mature and confident character also arouses recognition and admiration, but never mutual dependence. Constant reinforcements are not needed, nor will our happiness depend exclusively on whether or not we receive that positive recognition today. There is a perfect balance between what we give to ourselves and what others offer us from the most absolute sincerity, from the most authentic affection.

To conclude, we cannot ignore this concept today. Recognition is the basis of every society for a very simple reason: it promotes inclusion. It makes the invisible present regardless of age, condition, ethnicity or character. Knowing how to recognize is also knowing how to love intelligently, because those who practice the healthiest recognition are capable of validating the other for what they are and not for what one would like them to be.

Let us therefore learn to recognize each other, let us make people and needs visible through affection, availability and humility.

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