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Pride in relationships: a poison that destroys everything

The proud heart only prioritizes itself, sees everything as an affront and does not understand the language of humility, of that reciprocity that unites closeness and not distance.

Pride in relationships is a poison that sickens every emotional relationship. When this component appears between two people, the bond is tinged with selfishness. Suddenly, anything is interpreted as an attack. Everything hurts because the skin of self-esteem is very thin and one seeks to protect oneself at all costs, to position oneself above the other to have control over any situation.

Socrates said that pride begets the tyrant. Nothing is more true, but if this figure is also integrated into the field of love, the topic becomes even more delicate as well as painful. Because, at the end of the day, few things require as much dedication, humility and reciprocity as that bond between two people in their attempt to make a life together.

Some also point out that pride is like that ladder that one climbs to always be above others. It is in that position where they feel comfortable with themselves. However, they can do nothing from that height except look at the heads of the rest. Nothing reaches them from that sphere, the emotional distance they establish is so cold that they rarely manage to be happy.

What are proud people like in love?

When we start a relationship, excitement and love place a powerful filter in our gaze. For a long time, we attribute certain behaviors and attitudes to those little quirks of our beloved partner. What’s more, it is common that in the early stages we focus excessively on giving the best to that person, but without yet objectively calibrating what they offer us.

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However, Sooner or later the day comes when, for example, the shadow of pride is perceived in an inescapable and sharp way.. It is then when certain dynamics clearly and evidently reveal the proud personality. Let’s look at some series of characteristics.

A little pride is beneficial: it allows you to value your achievements, appreciate your qualities and virtues, recognize the work you do, etc. The problem is when it stops being healthy.

My partner is proud and these are his behaviors

The dynamics that show pride in relationships are very varied. However, their main feature is that they hurt, that they disturb, they are responses and behaviors that invalidate the other and that wear them down progressively:

Your opinion is the only one that matters and the one that should be taken into account.They rarely take the other person’s reality into account. They prioritize their needs.It is very difficult to communicate with the proud person. They distort everything or take it personally.Do not listen and, if they do, they misinterpret what they are told.They use sentences: “you have no idea what is happening”, “you always/you never”, etc.They never admit their mistakes nor are they capable of asking for forgiveness.Likewise, something common is constant angerfeeling hurt or undervalued almost every moment in the face of what one’s partner does – or fails to do.

Pride in relationships, what is the cause?

What is behind pride in relationships? In many cases, if not all, there is an underlying lack of self-esteem. When this psychological substrate fails, fears, shortcomings and/or distrust arise.

Nor can we ignore that The narcissistic personality also shows low self-esteem that translates into an arrogant and dominant attitude, in which the priority is the person themselves. However, it is common for pride in relationships to have more triggers:

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Having spent a childhood under a selfish parent or parents.Innate personality traits. Pride, as we have already pointed out, can be the obvious clue to a narcissistic personality disorder. Prideful behavior also arises as need to have absolute control in the relationship. There are many people attached to dominant behavior.On the other hand, we may be faced with someone trapped in their fears and complexes.. Proud behavior is that protective mechanism through which we hide infinite insecurities.Stubbornness Some people find it very difficult to change their thoughts, even if they do not match reality.Relationship Toxicity: Pride may be just one more element within a toxic context between the members of the couple.

How to stop pride in relationships

Slowing down, working and appeasing pride in relationships is essential. It is first of all because no emotional bond is sustained if there is someone obsessed with always being on those stilts with which to surpass the other.

Standing above the heads of others to have absolute control is neither permissible nor healthy.

Secondly, there is something obvious: Pride corrodes, wears down and annihilates all traces of happiness.. Neither the proud person nor anyone nearby will be happy. Therefore, it is essential to promote changes.

Strategies to weaken psychological pride

The first key is to want to change proud behavior. Without that starting line and that commitment, nothing is useful. Thus, once an evident will is demonstrated, the following reflections must be taken into account:

You have to understand that pride is a wall that makes any approach difficult and opportunity to build a happy relationship.Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is not weakness, It is proceeding with courage to open oneself to the loved one. It is decisive learn to act with humilityrecognizing the needs of others without prioritizing oneself.Work on self-esteem and emotional management.Abandon the obsessive need to always be right.To reduce pride in relationships You have to exercise empathy and reciprocity.Put aside the shame and work on your sense of humor. Learn to ask for forgiveness.You have to pay attention to your feelings and emotions and the way you act based on them. Self-control is decisive.Resolve conflicts before they encyst and escalate.

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It is true that it is not easy to undertake this journey of transformation, not everyone takes the step. However, anyone who wants to enjoy healthy social and emotional relationships must begin – on their own – that path to improvement.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Erol, Ruth & Orth, Ulrich. (2016). Self-Esteem and the Quality of Romantic Relationships. European Psychologist. 21. 274-283. 10.1027/1016-9040/a000259.Farrell, Jennifer & Hook, Joshua & Ramos, Marciana & Davis, Don & Van Tongeren, Daryl & Ruiz, John. (2015). Humility and Relationship Outcomes in Couples: The Mediating Role of Commitment.. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice. 4. 10.1037/cfp0000033.Yasemin, Ruth, Erol Orth (2013) Actor and partner effects of self-esteem on relationship satisfaction and the mediating role of secure attachment between the partner. Journal of Research in Personality Volume 47, Issue 1, February 2013, Pages 26-35. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2012.11.003

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