Love does not support everything

We have heard many times that “love can do everything”, “love always wins”… but the reality is that the true victim of those thoughts is oneself. It is important to know when a relationship comes to an end, no matter how much love we feel.

Love is a wonderful thing. We all have that favorite movie where the protagonists swear eternal love and fight against endless obstacles in order to continue with the love of their life and be happy forever. But in reality, in daily life, love is not like that.

“Loving is not only wanting, it is above all understanding.”

-Françoise Sagan-

The great mistake in the conception of love

Relationships should be something beautiful and satisfying.but there comes a time when they can stop being that way and become a source of suffering . If other people’s relationships begin to cause envy or if you have set limits that didn’t exist before (how to dress, who to see, etc.), possibly the relationship has deteriorated so much that not even love can handle it.

Those types of relationshipsThey are commonly known as toxic relationships and are much more common than we think.. We are made to believe from many areas that when one truly loves someone “they tolerate everything, accept everything and everything seems good to them.” If not, it is not true love, and that conception is a big mistake.

Thinking, as might seem expected, that without that person “your life has no meaning” is very dangerous. A relationship from a perspective of this type can undermine your self-esteem for allowing the other to impose limits on your life. Making bad jokes that cause discomfort in the other, being emotionally cold or manipulating under the slogan “it’s what’s best for you” fall into this category.

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Well, if you have identified yourself, calm down. The important thing is that now you know and we can turn back.

“A relationship without quarrels is boring, and a relationship with too many quarrels is toxic. It is desirable that the relationship have an optimal degree of conflict.”

-Gregoy Bateson-

How to get out of a toxic relationship?

The first and essential thing is that you realize this. It is important that you are aware that in reality your partner is not letting you be free and that, instead of helping you improve, it is “guiding” you as if you were incapable.

Secondly, value yourself. Recognize that you are a person full of virtues and important characteristics for the simple fact of belonging to you. You have dreams, and the person next to you should support you in them and be your partner, not just another obstacle to overcome.

And thirdly, Be independent, you don’t need anyone. Everything is in you, everything you need and can want in life. Your dreams, your life and your desires depend on you, repeat it as many times as necessary and preferably in front of a mirror.

“Never above you, never below you, always by your side.”

-Walter Winchell-

What if I can’t fix it?

If there is no way to make your partner understand that you are an autonomous person and that they do not have to set limits or force you to think differently; If he can’t stop making you feel bad with his contempt, run away!

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The most important thing is that, in these cases, you distance yourself completely and cut off all contact so that you have enough time to heal the wounds they have left you. You may be facing withdrawal symptoms, but Analyze if your anxiety or insecurity has decreased and get to work to recover your well-being.

Think about it, and little by little, let go of that which binds you and oppresses you. Furthermore, always Remember how bad being with your ex-partner made you feel. If it outweighs the good times, you made the best decision.