Looks are deceiving

That appearances can be deceiving has always been popular knowledge. Appearance is how others see and perceive us: clothing, way of speaking, gestures, behavior in public… but although all this says a lot about people, it cannot always reflect what you want. Or quite the opposite, it may also be that the person controls their appearance to give a specific image.

Thus, it is common that when we really know a person we discover aspects of them that we had not even imagined. What’s more, surely, if we put aside the image that we created at first, we will discover that We have many more things in common than we thought.. And this probably happens with all people.

The personal image

No one can avoid emitting a personal image. Everything that other people see of us, and we of them, can be interpretable. Based on this external information, we draw conclusions about the person’s personality, their experience, educational level, abilities, self-esteem… This is why concern for image is something universal, common to all contemporary and past cultures. .

At all stages of history, Elements of clothing served to indicate different statuses social or economic. For example, the chiefs of some tribes wear special outfits with certain decorations to differentiate themselves. But personal image goes far beyond whether what we wear is more or less elegant, expensive or of a certain style.

The personal image is also transmitted with expressions, gestures, voice, colors, or even the lines that mark the shape of our face and body. Likewise, how we behave in certain contexts also influences the image that others create of us. Definitely, Our personal image is formed by the external image, what and how we express and the attitude.

Looks are deceiving

When we see a person for the first time, we observe their entire appearance and personal image. And, inevitably, we make some judgment of their person, positive or negative, that will determine how and how much we will relate with that person. Unfortunately, or fortunately, appearances are deceiving, and on many occasions the impression that we get does not correspond to the way that person is.

With a little effort, we can get rid of those prejudices and stereotypes. However, from Psychology it is known some thought patterns that lead us, unintentionally, to draw conclusions with little information. In this sense, there are some cognitive biases that contribute to appearances deceiving us.

Stereotype bias or overgeneralization

It happens when we consider that little information is enough to get an idea about someone. That is to say, we associate character traits or specific information that leads us to make a hasty conclusionassuming that those who belong to a certain group share characteristics.

This happens, for example, if we think that someone may commit a crime because they come from a certain neighborhood. Or, for example, if we think that someone who is a lawyer will have a great social conscience.

halo effect

This famous bias, and similar to the previous one, consists of clouding the judgment due to only one of the person’s traits. That is to say, If we know a good or bad characteristic of someone, we will tend to think that the others are also good or bad.. This bias, for example, is responsible for us considering someone with a pretty face as a better person. Or, for example, we think that someone who has not shared something with us is selfish and insensitive.

Bias of the extraordinary

According to this bias, we will be deceived by someone’s appearance if it shows that they have an extraordinary ability or characteristic. In other words, If we know someone’s achievement, we will tend to value it more positively everything else. And the same thing happens in the opposite way. If someone tells us that that person had inappropriate behavior, when we see them we will judge them worse and we will build our opinion of them based on that event.

It can be controlled?

We tend to judge and be judged without knowing, and each person is responsible for remedying this. If you don’t want to be judged by appearance, you can study and ask what image you transmit, and thus reflect on what you want to transmit really. Once that is clear, you can play with clothing, body posture or gestures. It is an exercise that requires time, but we can learn to emit an image closer to the one we really have inside.

On the other hand, we can learn to control drawing conclusions from others without knowing them. Judging the book by the cover is the easy way, while trying and reading to draw your own conclusions is the truly enriching path. Appearances can be deceiving and, most likely, if we agree to meet someone we will realize that the good is not so good, nor the bad so bad. What’s more, we will be getting to know someone from the inside and learning to value them.

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