Do you feel that sadness has been stronger than joy? Have you lost your hope and has the cloak of disappointment taken over you? In this letter you will find peace and some recommendations that will help you at this time.
If you decide to read this letter it is because right now your sad days are winning or winning. Maybe you have lost hope, disappointments flood you, or you find yourself broken into a thousand pieces. Whatever the reason, that’s how you feel.
Before continuing, let me tell you that these lines are written so that before reading them you look for a comfortable and quiet place. A place that is a refuge and from which you can be alone with yourself. Then, I need you to close your eyes for a few seconds, take a deep breath and when you are ready start reading it, without rushing, calmly and reflecting on every word… Ready?
You have the right to be sad
Life is not always easy. You’re tired of fighting, of faking a smile when your soul asks you to cry, of looking good to others… Making up your sadness has become your routine and avoiding discomfort has so far been what has allowed you to continue. But no more, you can’t take it anymore. Your reluctance is so great that you are not even able to hide it.
No problem. You have the right to break down. Believe me. To cry, to scream in pain and not want to smile if you don’t feel it. Sometimes life weighs us down and tears us apart without any contemplation. Your duty is not to always be well, nor to put on a disguise to make others believe it. Keep in mind that masks also hurt because they hide you and offer you a character that you can attach yourself to in exchange for betraying yourself.
On your sad days, cry if that’s what you need or scream if you can’t take it anymore. It is better to express how you feel than to drown in it and at some point make yourself sick.
Whatever the reason, Allow yourself to feel your sadness to vent all that emotional pain that you carry inside. every time I knock on your door. Accepting it is the only healthy way to do it and the most appropriate way to begin building the bridge to your well-being.
But don’t forget that Being sad is connected to the memory and although this is useful, it stops being so when you base your entire life on it.. Because even if you are not responsible for how you feel, you are responsible for what you do with it.
Hold yourself tight, very tight
From now on, forget about your fears and just as you are brave not to worry others, Be brave to be honest with yourself and find out where you are. Look in the mirror and give yourself the love that you so often forget to recover your beautiful authenticity, the one that you put aside for the good of others. Do not be afraid. The most serious thing you can discover is a stranger in front of you.
If so, hug her, hug yourself. To reunite with yourself there is no better medicine than the warmth of feeling loved… and you have long forgotten to do that. Treat yourself with love, free from judgments and criticism to pick up every part that your sadness has shattered and understand it.
For this, what I would love and I ask you this with my greatest strength is that Please stop treating yourself badly. Whatever happened, reproaching yourself loudly or quietly makes your wound bleed harder.
It will be of great help to you to forgive your mistakes, the times when you didn’t know how to do it well and many times when you didn’t even know how to do it. Nobody is born knowing. Your mistakes are part of your learning. Surely behind each of them there has been progress. What happens is that you haven’t realized it. The least you can learn is that that way of doing things is not valid and who doesn’t like to rule out options? Every time we do it we are one step closer.
Also leave aside your beloved whys: “Why did it have to happen to me??”, “Because it’s always the same?”, “Why has he behaved like this with me?“…They only seduce you to become part of a spiral with no exit that squeezes your soul.”
You will recognize it because it is full of justifications, explanations and evasions of all kinds of feelings and responsibilities. If you let them, they will end up making your sad days your own routine. If you want to ask yourself, let it be with the how, the what, the when or the why. It will be more constructive and restorative. Believe me.
Now, After hugging and reflecting, it is time to look in the mirror again to recognize who you really are. Look for your eyes, connect with them and while you do so, say this simple phrase with two words and great effects: “I love me!” Maybe you realize that you have been waiting too long for someone to value you and love you the way you expected. Thus, you forgot that the only person who could do it was always with you.
The sun that appears after those sad days
Your sad days need you to listen to them so that you understand them. Only if you do, your wounds will begin to heal little by little and the pain will begin to disappear. Understanding it is the key to moving forward and love for yourself is the most powerful tool that will allow you to achieve it.
Your sad days help you disconnect from the outside and connect with yourself.
Write a letter for your sad days
Next, I am going to indicate some parts that you can include in your letter. Although you must personalize it, since each of us thinks and feels in a particular way.
Talk to your sadness like a friend. And not like any friend, but like your best friend, with compassion. The one that she knows us perfectly and that we cannot hide anything from her because she knows what is happening to us just by looking at us.Accept it and feel it. Don’t hold it back or hide it, let it flow throughout your body. If you have to cry or scream, do it. This is your moment. Don’t hide behind any mask, because after wearing it for a long time, it ends up rubbing and causing wounds.Lower your self-demand. Many times we put pressure on ourselves and demand much more from ourselves than from others. Don’t be so hard on yourself.Listen to your sadness. He has something important to tell you. It may be that you have accumulated a lot, that you should not always be strong, that you should ask for help, or that you need to stop. If we try to shut her up or ignore her, she won’t go away.Forgive yourself. The times you have made mistakes, whatever they may be. No one is born knowing and it is legal to make mistakes, as well as forgive oneself. Your mistakes are part of life’s learning and they have made you yourself.Release her. Once you know why your sadness remains, it’s time to let it go. Every emotion has its beginning and its end. Don’t hold her back. This way, you will leave room to experience other emotions.Dedicate yourself some nice words. Before closing that letter, look for those words that comfort you because they tell truths. Strengthen those strengths that give you the energy to continue forward. And thank yourself for everything you’ve done to get to where you are.Say goodbye to sadness. As if it were a good friend who has come to help you and listen to you, thank her and say goodbye to her.Hug yourself. Love yourself very much. Find a mirror and look at yourself, not to find faults, but to find yourself. Be as honest as you can. Look for your eyes and connect with you.
Finally, remember that although after your sad days the sun appears with small flashes so as not to dazzle you, it is up to you to go out to receive it or, on the contrary, cover yourself with a blanket so as not to welcome it. What I propose to you is that you dare May you be brave once again to feel and understand your sadness, without getting in the way of being authentic.
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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
Bylsma, L.M., Gračanin, A., & Vingerhoets, A.J. (2019). The neurobiology of human crying. Clinical Autonomic Research, 29(1), 63-73.Homan, KJ, & Sirois, FM (2017). Self-compassion and physical health: Exploring the roles of perceived stress and health-promoting behaviors. Health psychology open, 4(2), 2055102917729542.