Keys to identify an emotionally unavailable person

You meet someone you like, you seem to connect, you share time, but suddenly he or she backs off. She seems driven by fear or tells you directly that she doesn’t want anything serious. That she is not prepared, that it is difficult for her to open up… You may be dealing with a person who is emotionally unavailable.

The truth is For a relationship to work, it is important that both parties give and receive., because if only one opens emotionally, this is not a relationship. It’s as if you were sailing through the sea in a little boat with someone and only you were rowing. What would happen? That you would be left stumbling without moving forward.

The same thing happens in relationships. It is necessary for both parties to open their inner world in order to create a common space of intimacy and sharing. But how to detect an emotionally unavailable person? We give you some keys to find out.

Emotionally unavailable people have great difficulty creating a space of intimacy with others.

Emotionally unavailable person: what does it mean?

Being emotionally available means being open to another person entering our life, that we want to give and receive affection and that we want to maintain spaces of intimacy with others where we can exchange intimate conversations, love, passion, confessions…

On the other hand, the opposite happens to a person who is emotionally unavailable:

It is difficult for him to create spaces of intimacy with others. It is difficult for him to ask for help and let himself be helped. He finds it difficult to express his emotions, open his heart.His personal relationships are rather superficial.since he is not emotionally involved with others. He goes through breakups “without pain or glory.” In short: he is not open to loving and letting himself be loved.

Keys to identify an emotionally unavailable person

Knowing people who are emotionally unavailable a little better, we are going to identify and describe some keys that will help you identify them.

1. They avoid intimacy

These people avoid intimacy, that common, warm and familiar space that is being woven as trust between two people increases, as well as time sharing. Thus, although you can share very fun moments with that person, a space of authentic intimacy is not created.

2. One of lime and the other of sand

An emotionally unavailable person is likely to give you “one of two things” (the well-known intermittent reinforcement). What does this mean? That one day he may be elated to do things with you, eager to see you, affectionate… and another day he may be serious, closed in on himself, reproach you…

Many times they do this unconsciously, because Even if they are not emotionally available, sometimes they don’t know what they want either.

3. They find it difficult to talk about their emotions or intimate experiences

Another characteristic of these people is that they have a terrible time talking about their emotions or their most intimate experiences. You can talk about everything you want with this person, but When you play the emotional theme it will close in bandhe will use evasion or humor to not open his heart.

4. They set limits

They are people who set limits from the beginning. For example, not sleeping together, not having meals with other friends, not knowing the family… In addition, they tend to be quite inflexible with these limits.

These red lines allow them to mark emotional distance and “protect” themselves from everything that involves intimacy, commitment and, ultimately, the most emotional part of any relationship.

5. His displays of affection are not constant (or non-existent)

These people also tend to show a certain pattern when it comes to giving affection and affection. So, They may have displays of affection from time to time, but these are not constant.

That is, sometimes they appear, but suddenly, for no apparent reason, the affection decreases, changes, disappears… Or it may also happen that these signs of affection never appear at all.

6. Many words, few actions

They are people who can promise many things, but when push comes to shove, their actions say something else. They do not do this in bad faith; It may be that what is happening is that They want to open up to the other, but there is something that prevents them from doing so.hence those inconsistencies between what they say and what they do (or that they say a lot and do little).

A recommendation for when this happens: look at actions and not so much at words.

7. They cancel plans at the last minute

People who are not emotionally open cancel plans at the last minute, when they come up with a better plan, because in reality, many times they don’t want a commitment with you. Hence, they prioritize having a good time over their coherence or commitment.

8. They avoid commitment

An emotionally unavailable person generally does not want to commit to you. You can verbalize this directly.being honest, or showing it through their actions (like when they often cancel your plans).

Thus, the fact that they are not emotionally available makes them “run away” from relationships that really involve commitment, because in reality what they are looking for is something else, be it fun, entertainment, company, sex… but not something deeper, more emotional.

Emotionally unavailable people avoid commitment and their displays of affect are intermittent.

Emotionally unavailable people: how to act?

If you have met someone you like, with whom you have feelingbut is not emotionally available (either because he tells you so, or because he expresses it with his actions), it is important that you think about what you want.

Is this situation going well for you? Or are you looking for more involvement, more commitment? Whatever you need, it’s okay. But You need to listen to yourself and act accordingly.. You have the right to want emotionally available people by your side, and also, to be at a time in your life where you do not want to get involved.

Everything is fine, but be consistent and honest in your personal relationships, since this is proof of unmistakable self-love, which will also make you attract people who are looking for the same thing as you.

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