In the face of infidelity: act calmly

We have frequently heard phrases like “My partner has never been, nor will he ever be, unfaithful to me,” “There is only infidelity if problems abound in the relationship,” and other similar ones. However, we cannot forget that infidelity is more common than you think. That is why we must be realistic when facing a problem of this nature.so that our emotions and actions do not cause behaviors that we later regret.

Maybe our partner has been different in the relationship lately; Aspects such as monotony, dissatisfaction or simple curiosity and need for adrenaline motivate people to start a new relationship, regardless of whether it is temporary or not. Sometimes, infidelity simply happens and the person involved does not know how to explain why.. In any case, self-control and the goal of feeling better should be the priority when facing this type of situation.

What to do in these cases?

Mainly, we should not make decisions with a hot head, that is, in a state of agitation, since the situation can worsen. It is almost obvious that we have a lot of confusion at those times. We feel pain and anger overcome us and we run the risk of acting rashly.. The best thing is to calm down and wait for the tide to go out.

After we are calm, we must take the next step: listen to the other. Let’s not forget that in most cases, this person will lie. That is, she will deny everything that happenedeither. The most common thing is that after a while, and when you understand the dynamics of the situation, you partially tell what really happened.

A situation like infidelity makes us face several alternatives and we have the possibility of acting in different ways. It is important to remember that infidelity affects both members of the couple and, therefore, both must seek effective solutions to overcome this impasse.

They may also come to the conclusion that it is best to end the relationship permanently. Be that as it may, the important thing is to take some time to reflect and decide, in the most calm way possible, what is the healthiest path for both of you.s.

There are no magic formulas that can tell you what is the best decision after infidelity. In some cases, it is worth fighting for the relationship, knowing the truth about what happened and looking for elements that will allow you to overcome the difficulties. In other cases, the wound may be so great, or set precedents so deep that it is impossible to continue.

Continue or end?

If you finally decide to continue with your partner and overcome this crisis, The first thing is that you do not give in to the temptation to feel sorry for yourself and feel like the victim, because it is both of you who must correct the mistakes of the past. to make the relationship work again. In that case, you must rather find a way to forgive, no matter how difficult it may be, since that forgiveness is the only thing that will allow you to overcome infidelity definitively.

Both of you should analyze if there was something in the relationship that gave rise to infidelity.. This step represents a very important step forward, if you have decided to stay together. Taking a retrospective of what was experienced and the failures that were committed in the past helps to find answers to determine why the relationship led to infidelity. It also opens the door to reconciliation and understanding.

Speaking sincerely and sharing our reflections with others creates an ideal environment to improve aspects such as trust, understanding, tenderness; With this, if love is authentic, it will flow again as in the beginning.

If you find it difficult to continue with the relationship, but you do not want to end it, it is best to seek professional help.. Couples therapy implies that a third party, impartial and specialized, will come in to assess the situation. His purpose is to help you both overcome this impasse in the best way, thanks to his experience and knowledge.

If you choose that alternative, do not use the situation to emphasize the other’s infidelity at all times. Rather, you should put all your effort into overcoming the problem and continuing.

But if, ultimately, it is better for you to leave this relationship in the past, don’t be afraid to make the decision. It is better that you continue your life alone, instead of staying to live a reality that can become an endless hell.

Image courtesy of Marc Nadal