How to spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing (treacherous people)

You don’t always see treacherous people arrive because they captivate you with their charm and closeness.. They camouflage themselves in the form of your best friend, the nice co-worker and even that couple you just fell in love with. They seem like the most trustworthy men and women, presences in whom you place your trust and entire parcels of your heart.

However, after time you discover something. Those figures that seemed to be your soulmates are actually wolves dressed as lambs. Without knowing how or why, they attack your dignity and boycott you. Deception, manipulation and the unfathomable weight of that betrayal that leaves emotional consequences. Is there a way to detect them as early as possible? We explain it to you.

Treacherous people: characteristics and how to identify them

The only people who can betray you are those you trust.. This relational dynamic hurts because it is an attack on the foundations of affection and respect that define every bond. Something like this makes you feel fallible and even naive afterwards. What’s more, you even regret having invested time, effort and affection in someone who didn’t deserve it.

Works published in the Journal of the International Society for the Investigation of Stress explain that betrayals in relationships are experienced as something traumatic. They are not harmless experiences. Therefore, it is interesting to know that These types of figures always give clues about your personality. These are characteristics that we will describe to you in the following reading.

1. They don’t trust others

The popular saying already says it: “he who doesn’t trust, can’t be trusted either.” This is one of the first clues you should look at. In general, They are very critical people who look skeptically at anyone who approaches them.. You will hear them speak badly about almost everyone, as if they were above the rest. Let’s see more dimensions:

Friendships do not last long. They question the intentions of others. They tend to be somewhat reserved and hermetic. Their relationships are usually weak and superficial. They alternate between periods of openness and limited trust. They prefer that you be the one to talk and share personal topics. .

2. Elusive communication

Treacherous people avoid talking about intimate aspects. They will always do everything possible so that you are the one who opens up, the one who reveals his intimacies first. To this end, they will tell you things like “I love listening to you” or “your life is more interesting than mine.” With these comments they achieve that emotional anchor with which to gain your trust.

However, these presences will rarely be completely sincere with you. They will often fall into contradiction and falsehood. In addition, they will avoid certain topics and give you a thousand excuses not to delve too deeply into themselves.

3. At first, they are very altruistic

“Can I help you?”, “You can call me at any time for whatever you need,” “Don’t worry about it, I’ll solve it for you.” Treacherous people act in the first phases as absolute angels of altruism. They devote themselves 100% to you and do not hesitate to do you infinite favors and to be your main helping hand.

Now, be careful. Work published in Current Psychology reminds us that all social connection is based on reciprocal trust within a relationship. Once they conquer this sphere with you, they already have you under their control. If you know someone who is always willing to do things for you, try to be cautious and get to know them a little better..

4. They praise your intelligence, but they are stealing your ideas

This reality is very common in the workplace. You may have the classic kind and attentive companion who constantly praises your wit, intelligence, and creativity. Be wary of those who give you persistent praise, because at the slightest they can keep your ideas and present them to the company as their own.

Betrayal always has its beginning in praise. With this technique they gain your attention and affection. However, after having achieved that bond, they will use it for their own benefit.

4. They make you believe that they are your “soul mate”

The treacherous personality wastes no time. As you already know, one of their objectives is to gain your trust as soon as possible and, to do this, they have an effective tactic. They make you believe that they are those presences that you have always hoped to have in your life.. They dress up for you as a “best friend”, “the ideal co-worker”, “that love you’ve been waiting for”.

These men and women are skilled artisans of emotional manipulation. With this, they manage to have you under their influence to have power over you or obtain some benefit in return.

5. Unexpected reactions full of aggressiveness

Wolves in sheep’s clothing attract, bewitch with their friendliness and charming goodness. However, that appearance is not constantly maintained. Small incidents always happen with which they show their jaws, their threatening hooves. Suddenly, one day they may feel annoyed by any little thing.

Not having responded to a message from them or not having defended them (according to them) to others, causes them to react in an exaggerated way. Their anger is childish and immature, and they may choose to stop talking to you for a day or two.. Later, they appear with the same effusiveness and affection as before.

6. They treat others badly

As indicated in the Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology, all close relationships carry the risk of betrayal. However, there are those who do it more frequently because they do not value human ties or the bond of trust. They are those profiles that we usually call wolves in sheep’s clothing and that it is good to know how to detect.

That person you just met may dazzle you with their kindness and closeness. However, when you spend time with her you realize something: she treats others badly. Anyone who doesn’t understand what respect is is likely to end up hurting you.. Take note of some features:

He is critical of almost everyone. He speaks badly of his ex-partners or ex-friends. He is ironic about the behavior of others. Sometimes you see them treating people dishonestly. He calls names and faults everyone who crosses his path. .

This attitude not only eats away and exhausts you psychologically, but it can also give you a clue to your true personality. You may also be the object of ridicule for that person..

7. Tells you what you want to hear

The wolf in sheep’s clothing lies, deceives and distorts. He will whisper to you the truths you want to hear to gain your trust. It will be condescending. Furthermore, you will discover that, almost by magic, that person shares your same passions, values ​​and ideology… But be careful, because everything can be false.

Therefore, one way to discover the harmful and false personality is through questions. The more, the better. This is how you will realize their contradictions and the gaps in their narratives.

8. Lack of empathy

It is true that this personality will make you believe that it is that presence that you have always dreamed of. However, there are microbehaviors that can reveal that, in reality, they don’t care about you as much as you think. They often show very fake empathy. When you have a worry or are worried about something, their support is not healing and you sometimes perceive a certain falseness.

9. They don’t practice what they preach

These people are always accompanied by contradiction. You will notice that they rarely do what they say. They are those types of men and women who They defend certain values ​​and their behaviors are not in tune with what they express. They often make you think that they are fair and idealistic, but their way of acting does not conform to such dimensions.

10. They pit people against each other

This is a fact that you should pay attention to. Sometimes, They do not hesitate to reveal intimate aspects to you about their family members or close ones.. What’s more, you may notice how they entertain themselves by pitting people against each other by spreading certain gossip. They don’t mind bringing chaos around them. They even seem to enjoy it.

11. They play victims

Victimhood is usually behind those individuals who are experts in the art of psychological manipulation. They often present themselves to you as those people whom the world has treated badly. They are alone because no one has been able to understand them. With this narrative they awaken your compassion and that emotional bond that they will later use to betray you when it suits them.

12. Lack of remorse

It is very likely that these individuals have already betrayed more people before.. They instrumentalize their victims to obtain benefit. To intuit whether this harmful dynamic is included in their private history, do not hesitate to ask them about their past relationships. Analyze their words and see if any type of emotion appears in them.

Generally, those who betray do so without the weight of conscience and do not feel remorse. In his minds it’s just a means to an end.

How to protect myself from false and treacherous people?

It is very possible that a wolf in sheep’s clothing is roaming near you right now. If you’re wondering how to protect yourself from their toxic and harmful arts, it’s worth noting that there are some very basic tools. Take note and use them as a prevention kit:

Analyze its reliability: Before trusting someone on a deep level, take the time to get to know them better. Observe their behavior, their narratives, their way of reacting, etc.Be selective in your confidences: be cautious. Do not share very personal or sensitive information with someone you have not gotten to know well or whom you do not trust 200%.Encourage open communication: Creates an environment of honest communication. It is important that you encourage this person to express his thoughts, to tell you things about his life. Ask him lots of questions and see how he responds.Observe behavior patterns: Pay attention to what he says and what he does. He pays attention to how he talks about his past relationships and, above all, observes how he treats people.Maintain your independence: Do not depend exclusively on that figure in your life. Maintain a network of friends and diversified relationships so that if betrayal appears, you are not alone.Evaluate your motivations: Try to understand the intentions that that presence has in your life. Ask yourself if they are interested in your well-being or if they have hidden agendas.

Betrayals, the deepest psychosocial pain

In general, the treacherous person always seeks to appear what he is not to captivate you. If you are observant, inquisitive and try not to give her your trust from minute 1, you will be able to protect yourself from her. However, also understand that no one is immune to betrayal and that these experiences are almost inevitable. The behavior of every individual cannot be predicted.

Such experiences generate a great psychological impact. They hurt and disturb. What’s more, they can become a trauma. If you are dealing with the present reality right now, do not hesitate to ask for specialized help. Heal this wound…