How to encourage responsibility in teenagers

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The transition between childhood and adolescence is usually complicated for the protagonists, but also for the parents, who in some way also have to grow up. Children have stopped being children. Now, how can we encourage this transition?

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Adolescents are in a complicated stage; They are in transition between childhood and adulthood. For this reason, they may have incoherent behaviors and may seem very mature at times, and very childish at others. One of the phrases that the parents of these young people repeat most is “if you are too old to have rights, you are also too old to have obligations.” But, then, how can we encourage responsibility in adolescents?

Being responsible means taking responsibility for our own actions and their consequences – in the broadest sense of the word. It means fulfilling obligations, having your say, assuming mistakes, respecting others and maintaining a certain consistency in behavior. The sense of responsibility develops progressively and it is natural for young people to evolve in the dimensions described; In this sense, we can help them move forward by applying certain guidelines.

Why encourage responsibility in adolescents?

The ultimate goal of breeding is train people who are capable of functioning successfully in real life. In this regard, adolescence is the last stop before going out into the world, so responsibility must be one of the main lessons learned.

It is this value that makes a person be careful in their decisions and take into account their obligations. And this influences both at the work level, to be able to access and maintain a job, and at the level of personal relationships. It is responsibility that leads an adult to take care of himself, to provide for themselves and make good decisions, being able to postpone gratification.

Young people need to learn to be responsible, so that they continue to advance safely in this dimension as they gain independence.

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Keys to promoting responsibility in adolescents

Responsibility must be practiced until it is fully achieved, and this follows a progressive course that can be encouraged from home. The following are some guidelines that may help in this regard:

1. Clarify rules and responsibilities

Personality development is greatly influenced by the expectations that adolescents perceive in their environment. Furthermore, it is important that they know to what and why they will have to respond in the event of non-compliance with any of their obligations. For example:

Collaborate at home assuming domestic tasks and family organization.Take charge of your schoolwork and plan your study.Comply with existing standardss regarding arrival times home, screen use time or any other time that has been established.

Each family can decide what responsibilities are assigned to their children. Once defined, it is essential that communication is precise. That? When? As? Because? Are there alternatives? What will happen in case of non-compliance?

2. Negotiate and trust your children

Teenagers are not children, so At this stage, negotiation is, although more tiring for adults, necessary. “Just because” or “because I said so” should not be the norm.

Adolescents grow and parents, in some way, must grow with them if they want their role to remain relevant. Thus, it is vital that Little by little, let’s expand the margin we grant them to make decisions autonomously. Once certain agreements have been reached, it is time to give them a period of adaptation to the change and grant them the necessary space to comply.

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3. Allow the consequences to live

Being responsible means taking responsibility for the consequences of one’s actions, and this is one of the greatest lessons to learn in adolescence. But, for this, it is necessary that the parents allow it.

If you are constantly after your child, reminding him of his chores and obligations, you deprive him of these opportunities. Once he knows his responsibilities, It allows you to choose whether to comply with them or not, and to experience the consequences of not doing so.

4. Work on healthy values and habits

The ultimate goal of education is to ensure that the adolescent internalize a series of values, and be moved by them instead of by rewards or punishments. Thus, as a parent, you will want your child to go to bed early or eat a balanced meal because he understands the importance of this for his health, and not just for fear of being scolded.

To do this, try to explain the reason and why of each rule; and, if any of them are breached, Don’t focus on “the disobedience” but on the real impact What this will have for your child and his well-being. Practicing sports and physical activity can also help the development of these values.

Promoting healthy values and habits, as well as teaching how to reflect on the consequences of actions, is essential in the education of adolescents.

5. Reward and reward good behavior

Finally, remember that promoting responsibility in adolescents is a process that is followed step by step. So, start by offering a certain degree of freedom and trust and advance depending on how your child responds. If you comply with what was agreed, if you are sensible and mature, You can grant greater autonomy and make the established rules more flexible.

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In short, promoting responsibility in adolescents is preparing them for scenarios that they will encounter on a daily basis in their adult lives. It is to make them trustworthy people both for others and for themselves, and capable of assuming the adult world without the protection of home. Although it requires patience and trust, it is a great gift that they will appreciate in the future.