How narcissists punish (and believe they have the right to do so)

As sad and illogical as it may seem, narcissists punish or torture others for their own delight. Because it gives them sadistic pleasure or to increase their self-esteem.

If you have been unfortunate enough to be the target of a narcissist you will well know how traumatic the experience can be.

Due to their personality disorder, narcissists often behave in abusive, manipulative, and aggressive ways.

It is impossible for them to empathize. They also suffer from poor ego development, so they seek to compensate by putting themselves on a pedestal and humiliating others.

The punishment of a narcissist can be open and express or covert, which is why they are sometimes difficult to unmask.

They are experts in observing those around them and although you might feel that they are not paying attention to your desires, I assure you that they are very much in tune with what bothers you. They will not hesitate to use it to the extent that it is useful to them.

8 Ways a Narcissist Will Try to Punish You

Coercion is the way in which they will seek to ensure their dominance over their victim. By definition, this concept implies putting pressure on someone to force their will or their behavior.

And how do they do it? with different techniques

Isolation

They gradually separate their target from loved ones and any support systems they may have. It could also limit financial resources or any other needs of your victim. In this way, they ensure that they have control over their own, reduce their independence and limit any external help.

Demoralization

Through passive-aggressive questions and constant judgments, they seek to devalue the other, decreasing their confidence and self-esteem. They will criticize and destabilize your sense of self and reality.

Little by little they make the victim stop feeling free to choose or think without depending on the narcissist.

They will make you feel unworthy and lucky that the narcissist still wants to be around you. Because who else would want to be with someone like that?

instilled incapacity

The narcissist will distort reality, deny truths or dismiss his victim to plunge him into doubt and cognitive confusion. He will use insults to belittle her and position himself in a place of superiority.

control of thoughts

They manipulate their victim through judgments or silent treatment. This includes ignoring his victim for an indefinite period of time, days, weeks, or even months, or rejecting her in order to train her to have opinions and take actions that he considers acceptable.

Fear

It controls the words and actions of its victim with implicit, direct or real physical, moral and/or sexual threats. Sometimes they will resort to regret and promises of change to sustain the system.

Blame

On many occasions, the narcissist will project his own mistakes or defects onto his victim, blaming him for them.

Body language as covert abuse

She might give you disapproving stares or intimidate you with her body.

victimhood

Many times narcissists place themselves in this place to cover up their own attitudes. They could accuse you of having attitudes and behaviors that they themselves exert to confuse you.

Smear and humiliation

A narcissist does not measure his actions, the only thing he thinks about is his goal. Then he could start smear campaigns towards his victim or even humiliate her in public.

Some examples of this are:

1) Intentionally making a mistake

The narcissist could make mistakes or appear more incompetent so that you have to run off to solve their chaos. In this way he confirms his power over you.

2) Negative compliments

He might tell you something that apparently sounds like a flattery but exposes some alleged flaw in yours. Something like “you actually seem nice, or “you’re almost as smart as my ex”

3) Sabotage

These are intentionally evil acts to create chaos and conflict in your life. They might do it unconsciously, but still, you shouldn’t tolerate it.

It could break something you love or fail to give you an important message.

4) Divulge personal things

As if it were a completely innocent mistake, it will reveal personal information. A secret from your friend that you have told her, that you are looking to lose weight or even some intimacy.

And when you question him, he will simply say: “I didn’t know it was a secret, I just wanted to help”

What are the reasons why a narcissist punishes?

Because of this personality disorder, narcissists are not capable of loving in a loving, loyal, or genuine way.

The anger of a narcissist can be unleashed at any time and even without the victim realizing it.

It usually happens when your repressed insecurity is triggered (due to some early trauma).

When the narcissist feels enraged, threatened, or attacked in any way, they will unleash all their punishing tools, believing they have the right to do so. He will believe that the other person would do the same for him, if he were clever or capable enough.

Some reasons why narcissists punish:

To control For revenge In search of demonstrating his power To subdue As a way to vent
To eliminate any competition In order to be respected In search of generating fear For sadistic pleasure To cause fear

Or even if you’ve done something as innocent as trying to improve your relationship by sharing your feelings, offering to help, or trying to teach him something.

Something as simple as sharing your feelings could unleash his fury.

final words

If you are in contact with or close to a narcissist, it is almost certain that you will be the recipient of one of their punishment techniques.

Many times they act unconsciously, but if they feel a threat of any kind, they will not hesitate to manipulate, denigrate and hurt even the closest people.

A firm stance will be key to setting the limits in the face of manipulative behaviors, regardless of whether it is a disorder, you should never tolerate abuse of any kind.

Therapy can help them at times as they too suffer from their own condition.