Falsehood in social networks – Appearance and Essence

Hello friends!

A few days ago I published, on our video site, a video about Falsehood in Social Networks. The video had thousands of hits (you can also see it in this text). Today I would like to comment on the video, through the distinction between what people show on social networks and what they are in reality. This is because it has been reported that many people are depressed when comparing the life they have with the life they see from people added on facebook.

Fakeness on social media

Well, as we can see in the video, the boy makes a point of creating scenes, of pretending in photos, in order to publicize his current life as being better than it really is. Hence the title of our text, “Falseness in social networks”, because it is not being true. The impression we have is that he cares more about disclosing an unreal state of affairs than choosing to change his attitudes in his relationship and in his work.

But this type of behavior is not as frequent as the more common behavior of posting and selecting only the good (really) moments such as international trips, happy parties with many friends, academic successes and professional successes, in the career.

I say that it is more common to post only the good times because everyone tends to share what they value. In this sense, we should not speak of falsehood, since the content is real, it is only selected and represents a part of everyday life.

And this is precisely the definition we can give for persona, for the mask we use to present ourselves to the world. We select the face, the face, the mask that is best, that will be accepted and liked. Therefore, what appears is only one side of what one is.

appearance and essence

These days ago, on a trip to São Paulo, I was thinking about the German word aussehen, which means appearance. So far so good. It turns out that in verb conjugation, the word is separated into aus + sehen. And aus is somewhat similar to the English word out (the two languages ​​have a common origin) while sehen means to see. Aus, separate, means outside – just like the English out.

We would then have aus (outside) and sehen (to see) as appearances in German. Appearance in German: to see – only, only – what is outside.

The word essence, in turn, comes from the Latin word that what it means to be. Hence the distinction between appearance and essence, between what is shown outside and what one is.

The curious thing is that social networks even give rise to this type of misunderstanding between what other people show and what they are. While the distinction also works, and works well in the “real world”, it seems to apply even better in the virtual environment.

After all, how would it be possible to show – in truth and in totality – what we are on social networks?

real friends

According to Facebook’s own statistics, most users have hundreds of friends, but often chat with 4 or 5. Which means that the number of real friends is much lower than the number of virtual “friends”.

Perhaps many people disagree with this statistic, arguing that they talk to a lot more people. However, what the statistic indicates is that real friendship, that person who really cares if you’re okay or not, won’t be as big as the number of contacts or followers. In that sense, from real friendship, the number of 4 or 5 for billions of people is likely to be correct.

And the difference between hundreds of friends and real friends is also another aspect of what people show on social networks, but are not.

love relationships

I cannot fail to mention the issue of romantic relationships, although it would be better to write a separate text on this subject later on (see here – Love and Facebook – Trust and Privacy). I cannot fail to mention this because the video itself poses this question in a tragic way:

First, why the need to disclose relationship status? In the video, he even mentions that he is in an open relationship, he does.

Second, I remembered the movie Medianeiras, when the character Mariana, lived by the wonderful actress Pilar López de Ayala, does the math of how many photos she had taken in a relationship that had come to an end. In the beginning, hundreds and hundreds of photos. Then a few dozen, and finally just a few.

As social networks increasingly incorporate photos, we can see this progression of a more lasting relationship also in the photos that are placed more frequently at the beginning and later, from the no need to conquer or secure for others, the number of published photos of the couple begins to drop sharply.

Conclusion

I don’t feel very comfortable closing this text (to conclude is to close). I think it could be expanded much more, especially on the issue of love relationships, on issues such as jealousy, possessiveness, online infidelity.

But as a provisional conclusion – after all, I will write more on the subject soon – I think that the important thing about this issue of essence and appearance, also in social networks, is the self-knowledge of difference.

In other words, what i wort which is I really live. That is, looking back at the message we are sending to others and what we should preserve and not show. On the other hand, it is also very important to note that the same difference exists for others, the life that may appear to be perfect in profile is only a small part of what is lived. This thought alone avoids all kinds of misunderstandings.

And finally, it is also necessary to take into account that the comparison with other people’s lives is always wrong, because everyone has their own story, and, as Caetano would say, “each one knows the pain and delight of being what they are”.

Continued – Love and Facebook – Trust and Privacy

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