Ecoist personality: definition and characteristics

Those who have an echoist personality do not want others to make them feel special, as they feel uncomfortable and even annoying.

In the words of Craig Malkin, we could define the echoist personality in the following way: “The less people feel specialThe more modest they become until, at last, they have so little sense of themselves that they feel useless and helpless. I call these people ecoists” (Malkin 2015: 11).

In other words, having an ecoist personality does not mean modesty, but rather the fear of projecting an egocentric, narcissistic and selfish image that provokes rejection and criticism. As a result, these personalities try to completely silence their “I” and their needs. That is, they do not want others to make them feel special, in fact, when that happens, they can feel very uncomfortable and even angry.

“Echo was a nymph who lived in the forest. She had a beautiful, sweet voice and loved to talk. In her eloquence, Eco always wanted to have the last word.

One day the goddess Hera punished Echo for having deceived her, and furiously told him:

– From this moment on you will not be able to speak what you want and since you like to have the last word, you will only repeat the last word you hear…

One day walking through the forest Echo met Narcissus, a young and handsome shepherd with whom all the nymphs were in love, but he rejected them.

Eco fell deeply in love with him and decided to follow him through the forest. d Soon, Narcissus heard a noise among the branches and asked:

– Anyone there?

– There – said Eco.

“Come,” Narcissus shouted.

– Come – Echo repeated.

And when they met, Echo hugged Narcissus and he rejected her just as he was used to.

The goddess Nemesis punished Narcissus, and while he drank water from a crystalline spring, he was able to see her image. She thought that his reflection was a real being and she fell deeply in love with himself.

He no longer cared about anything else, remaining there for fear of losing his image. Little by little Narcissus was transformed into a beautiful flower.

Echo took refuge in the caves and on the tops of the mountains, where his physical body disappeared due to starvation, leaving only his voice, which always repeats the last word said by any person.

Psychology was inspired by a myth to name the narcissistic personality, but everyone forgot about the nymph Echo. At least until now. The American Psychologist Craig Malkin was fascinated by the role of Echo as he represented the antithesis of narcissismand found similarities with the characteristics that some people show, so he dedicated himself to investigating what he called echoist personality.

“We must proceed in such a way that we do not blush before ourselves.”

-Baltasar Gracián-

Echoist Personality Characteristics

1. Fear of feeling special

The echoist personality fears being seen as vain or being the center of attention. capturing the gaze of others, even if it is for good reasons.

2. Repression of needs

Ecoist people They never express their wishes in their personal relationships. As Craig Malkin points out: “they are afraid of becoming a burden and it is no exaggeration to say that they hate having needs“. So they hide them.

They firmly believe that To earn the love of others they have to demand as little as possible. and give as much as possible. This leads them to neglect their needs, giving themselves too much to others, which usually generates dissatisfaction and unhappiness since their emotional needs continue to exist but are not satisfied.

3. Extreme emotional sensitivity

Echoism is closely related to emotional sensitivity. It is common that These people show extreme sensitivity from birth. Being so sensitive, they feel very embarrassed when they are punished or reprimanded. In fact, echoism is hypothesized to be a type of defensive introversion. These people think: “If I go unnoticed, you won’t be able to humiliate me, embarrass me, or hurt me.”

“If the soul is concerned with feeling shame and overcoming it, it cannot feel pleasure.”

-Stendhal-

4. Low self-esteem

The ecoist personality It has been linked to low self-esteem. Feeling unspecial or thinking that they are not worthy of being taken into account implies a negative self-image.

This lack of confidence in their abilities becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy., so these people will rarely dare to undertake projects or pursue their dreams. They have so little love for themselves that life ends up devouring them.

Read Also: Conversion disorder and "belle indifference"

5. Difficulty knowing what they want

People with an echoist personality devote so much effort to satisfying the needs of others and hiding their desires, that they can lose connection with their “self”, so if someone asks them what they want, they may feel lost. This inability to connect with their needs makes them more prone to developing emotional dependence on others, which is exactly what they aim to avoid.

6. They are a magnet for narcissists

These behavioral patterns lead, as Malkin points out in an article for Psychology Today, to a fairly common constant in the lives of echoists: They tend to fall in love with narcissists. This is because echoists have so much fear of focusing attention “Having someone who enjoys occupying the entire room is a relief.”

The problem, says the psychologist, is that “when narcissists become abusive, ecoists blame themselves for mistreatment” with phrases like “I wait too long,” “I’m being too sensitive,” or “I shouldn’t have come back.”