Change the Meaning – 10th and 11th Forms

A childhood friend of mine spent his teens being an alternative person. I will not, of course, recount the details of his life – for ethical reasons.

But the central point he clung to was this: “I will not adapt to this system”. And he lived like that for years, without studying or working, without dating or meeting different people, all in order not to adapt to what he considered wrong.

The change for him came in the form of a question: if you keep thinking like this, for decades to come, what will you get?

Of course, at first he reacted by defending himself. Then he stopped to think. If he kept thinking like that, he couldn’t do, get or be anything he really wanted, what he really dreamed of.

That’s when the change took place.

This way of change is the 10th way we use, in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, to change meanings, thoughts and feelings that harm us instead of helping us on our way. The 11th form is also related to consequences, so we treat both forms in this text.

It is interesting to consider some beliefs, some thoughts that we have all the time to know what we will be thinking and feeling in this way.

Imagine someone who doesn’t like public speaking. It is an option, of course, the person may not feel comfortable talking to several people at once. But what will she get in the long run?

Possibly, she will miss out on better job opportunities. She may have difficulties behaving appropriately in a group dynamic (for a job vacancy), or even getting promoted in her position or becoming better known.

Imagine someone who eats compulsively, not caring about gaining weight and putting on excess weight. If the person doesn’t care, possibly he will be obese in the long run. It is also a life option, but instead, she could eat well (in a healthy way) and still not become obese – that is, acquire a weight that harms her health.

As you may have noticed, this 10th way to change is to ask a simple question:

– What will happen in 5, 10 years if you keep thinking like that?

– Do you find this consequence desirable? Is that what you want for yourself in a few years?

This way of changing is a very effective way for us to resignify (change the meaning) of what we think and feel in the present, as it makes us consider the consequences, what will happen in the future if we continue to think as we do.

In the next form of change, the 12th form, we will continue talking about the future. But in an even more radical way. Wait.

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