Can women and men just be friends?

This is a question that is being asked more and more in the academic world and, above all, in the world of psychology. Gender equality has brought many changes and one of them is the way we relate to each other.. Men and women now share many aspects of their lives as equals, but can they just be friends?

Evolutionary psychology seems to have an answer to why this doesn’t always work, but the truth is that There are more and more people who choose friends who are not of the same sex. It seems that we are finding the answer, as in almost everything, in people’s ability to know themselves and their environment.

Without the development of this capacity, it is possible that men and women tend to misinterpret signals., and this is one of the biggest obstacles for us to be just friends, without a romantic comedy involved. In fact, it seems that this ability would be the basis of true friendship between men and women.

How do we understand friendship?

Although, basically, we all know what friendship consists of, it is important to also know that For men and women, friendship has different nuances. Friendship is a relationship of shared interests, support and companionship. But men and women understand this in different ways.

Men develop a sense of friendship with each other based on activities. They are more casual relationships that are defined as “side by side.” They are not very intimate and transactional relationships. Men do not usually share their feelings with other men, although they do share a taste for camaraderie, common interests, and friendship that lasts over time.

Women are another world. Friendship between women is not so much conceived as “side by side” but rather as “face to face.” Friendship between women is based on intimacy, shared feelings and thoughts. and they are much more emotional and contact-dependent relationships.

The sense of humor is another factor that distinguishes us. While men learn to make fun of their friends for a laugh and the fact has no major consequences, women do not use hurtful humor among ourselves for fear that the other person will be hurt.

We are much more compatible than we think

In reality, and seen this way, The friendship between a man and a woman is much more complete than that between people of the same gender. Women find camaraderie and a love of activities in our male friends; while men find emotional support in their female friends that their peers do not know how to provide them.

In this way it seems, a priori, to be the perfect friendship relationship, the connecting links are many and we both contribute countless things to each other.. So what is wrong? It seems that, according to several studies, it is sexual or romantic tension or attraction that can negatively affect us.

Misinterpreting the signs

A study carried out at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, and published in the journal Evolutionary Psychologyfound that men and women misinterpret each other’s signals of sexual interest. We don’t know how to interpret signs of sexual interest when our friendship belongs to the other gender.

It seems that women interpret signals of sexual interest as friendship and that men usually interpret signals of friendship as sexual interest.. Other studies prior to this one already provided less than encouraging data in this regard.

Studies on natural selection, for example, showed us that men perceive sexual interest in excessmaking them more likely to feel sexually attracted to their female friends according to this evolutionary view

But, although evolutionists argue about this innate instinct in males, the truth is that it is not a decisive factor. Before throwing in the towel and resigning ourselves to not understanding each other, We must know that this factor only makes the friendship relationship difficult, but does not make it impossible..

For its part, Research conducted by the University of Texas at Austin found that men and women can be just friends. However, it is likely that said friendship will end up becoming a romantic relationship, or be affected by the interest of one of the members.

In this case, the researchers analyzed the behavior of 90 pairs of friends of different genders. The results showed that men are more likely to fall in love with their friends. Well, they tend to misinterpret the signals of her partner, believing that the attraction they feel for her is also reciprocated.

Thus, Men often take the risk of taking the next step to start a romantic relationship. But, when there is no reciprocity, friendship tends to be damaged.

Women and men can be just friends

The good news is that our new generations, Young millennialsare developing much less difficulty in forming and maintaining quality friendships with the opposite gender. In fact, they find it completely normal to be just friends. It is also true that for older people this seems to be costing them a little more.

In the past, men and women related in purely romantic and reproductive matters. But today, in many parts of the world, men and women interact in a way that has no historical precedent.. We work together, we study together, we share leisure time and interest in many topics that unite us more than they separate us.

Some keys

As in many other aspects of good personal development, healthy friendship between men and women seems to have some secrets that deserve to be dusted off and put into practice, by both men and women.

Although men misinterpret signals of sexual interest more, I would dare say that Women also misinterpret signs of romantic interest in men. If our friendship hides any hope of resulting in romance or sexual relationship, someone will get hurt.

Learning to set limits for yourself and others is essential for the friendship relationship between a man and a woman to be successful.. After all, respect and limits are something that we all unconsciously put in place when friendships are of our own gender.

Friends do not invade each other’s personal space or time.. In every friendship there are implicit codes that no one questions. And those same rules of respect must be developed when our friends are of a different gender than ours.

Overcome, as adults, our most basic instincts and doing a good exercise in emotional intelligence can help us develop friendships with the other gender that will bring many good things to our life experience.

Friendship between men and women is not only possible, but It is probably the most complete friendship relationship that exists.. As with almost everything, it is a matter of personal evolution.

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