Abusive messages from ex-partners: a risk for mental health

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There are those who do not accept the end of a relationship and begin to harass the ex-partner through constant messages and disrespectful comments on social networks.

There are two ways to end an emotional relationship: the healthy and respectful one or the problematic one. The latter is more common than we think and can leave us with serious mental consequences. So much so that a recent study alerts us that Abusive messages from ex-partners increase the risk of anxiety, depression and even suicidal thoughts.

The issue is more serious than it seems. We are talking about psychological manipulation, harassment and, therefore, abuse. The fact of receiving WhatsApps, emails or inappropriate messages on social networks end up undermining the person’s balance. Likewise, another fact occurs: the impossibility of closing a relationship stage with someone forever.

On the other hand, it is not difficult to deduce that Anyone who is a victim of this type of “digital” abuse suffered the same dynamics when they were a partner of that harasser.. The suffering lengthens and reaches even more tortuous limits. We analyze it below.

There are many forms of harassment, but the one based on new technologies is the most recurrent in recent years. These types of dynamics are the most common among young people between 16 and 24 years old.

Abusive messages from ex-partners, a form of harassment

Ending a relationship is not usually easy for anyone. However, There are times when it is more convenient than ever to end an emotional bond.. We are talking about those cases in which one experiences abuse in any of its forms firsthand. However, in these latter situations there is usually the common and well-known reality that the abuser does not want to put an end to it.

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When the ex-partner does not accept the breakup, the recurring harassment “campaigns” begin. These can be based on surveillance, unwanted visits, persecutions and also the constant sending of messages. There is no point in telling that person to accept reality and move on. Because to the desperation due to this breakup, anger and frustration are often added when conceiving the loved one as a possession.

Thus, although it is true that we already know very well the psychological effects of harassment, we did not have much scientific literature on abusive messages from ex-partners. The data could not be more conclusive: The victims of this type of dynamics suffer great psychological exhaustion.

Digital bullying and its effect on psychological health

The research was published in the journal Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology and was carried out at the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology and Neuroscience at King’s College London. The data of 6,857 people who had gone through a relationship breakup were analyzed and what was revealed in this work was the following:

There are many ex-couples who use messages WhatsApp, email, comments on social networks or even sending cards as a form of harassment. Not only do they ask or demand to restart the relationship, threats and obscene messages frequently appear. Men and women receive abusive messages from ex-partners. However, They are the ones who suffer twice as much as men from the probability of receiving this type of messages.Although this reality can appear in any age cohort and social class, It is more common to appear among the population between 16-24 years old.Likewise, another significant fact appears: the probability of suffering anxiety, depression and even suicidal thoughts in these situations is very high. The risk of leading to mental health problems is 39.2% compared to the population that does not receive abusive messages from ex-partners.

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Abusive relationships and breakups that do not allow us to move away from abuse

Many may be surprised by what the data tells us. Why should someone consider suicide just because of receiving inappropriate messages from exes? Wouldn’t it just be enough to put a filter so that they don’t arrive?

Reality is much more complex. Because it is very likely that someone who is harassed digitally after the breakup was also mistreated during the time the relationship lasted.

It is common for physical and psychological abuse to be a precedent. This form of violence leaves serious consequences and the fact of not being able to completely distance oneself from that reality intensifies the suffering.

There is a constant feeling of fear and insecurity. Threats and obscene phrases completely undermine psychological balance. You cannot turn the page and start a new stage. All of this can lead us to extreme situations.

The need to act on abusive messages from ex-partners

Something that we must keep in mind today is that Abuse is now carried out in many ways and digital is the simplest and most recurrent. It is not necessary to travel or leave home to enter the daily (and mental) reality of a person. They can even use fake profiles or mobilize others to also act as trolls before someone

It is necessary to consider digital harassment as another form of mistreatment of ex-partners. This is increasingly seen among adolescents and not all young people know how to act. Educating, preventing and developing new mechanisms for the protection and psychological assistance for victims is decisive and also urgent. Let’s think about it.