7 Ways to Face Embarrassment and Overcome Failure

The American Psychologist Silvan Tomkins came to the conclusion that the feeling of shame appears when positive emotions are expected🇧🇷 but in their place comes failure. The brain can see the situation as a problem that requires an immediate solution. Or you can still react to it as a threat, preventing us from moving forward and causing suffering.

We all suffer from our dramas, and many times they make us want to disappear: your dress ripped in the middle of the party, you didn’t have enough money to pay for groceries while you were already at the checkout with a bunch of products, or you simply messed up time to use the ATM and caused a kilometer queue. At times like this, we might think, “Why does this happen to me?”

O awesome.club discovered that it is possible to fight this kind of internal suffering. Just understand the physiological and chemical nature these negative emotions.

First, admit that a certain situation causes you a feeling of discomfort. To begin with, this will help you understand that what happened requires analysis. If you don’t admit feeling ashamed for what happened, the feeling will pass to the subconscious level, causing a serious impact and creating obstacles in your life.

Memorize the following sentence and repeat it when you feel ashamed: “I will not be more or less happy because of the fact that causes embarrassment” or “I have nothing to be ashamed of, everyone goes through difficult situations.” Attitudes like this will make you deal with each concrete situation and find an adequate way to resolve it.

Start analyzing the situation: check what led to the failure and find out the correct reasons. If you’ve made a mistake, it’s time to fix it.

If, for example, during a public presentation you notice that the interlocutors do not agree, resort to phrases such as the following: “This is a complex question, and I could only answer it later, after doing a more detailed analysis. deep. For now, the conclusions are those already presented”, or even “Guys, after debating this matter with you, maybe I will change my opinion and express it at another opportunity”. Listen to criticism calmly, do not complain about them. Next time, start your speech only after you have studied the topic very well.

Human mistakes are quickly forgotten, so the feeling of shame is temporary. Also avoid unnecessary comparisons, do not compare your behavior with other people’s expectations, accept yourself. Shame usually arises from the mismatch between expectations and reality.

Don’t look away when passing close to the person you’ve offended. It’s better to apologize at once and feel “comfortable” every day and not resolve the situation. Try to come up with a simple and brief explanation for what you have unwittingly hurt someone else. For example, you “spread the word” that a co-worker was pregnant. Explain by saying that you were so happy with the news that you ended up telling other people.

Situations that make us feel ashamed or uncomfortable often arise because we are unable to take responsibility for a decision that is necessary but very difficult to make. If, even acting correctly, your fear comes true, look for the positive side: sometimes, stress helps to show which is the right path to follow.

Talk about the situation with a loved one, someone you can open up to and share your pain with. But be careful: the likelihood that your disclosures will become public is always there, and your mental comfort level can drop below zero. He chooses people he has complete confidence in for conversations like this.

It’s easy to distinguish a feeling of guilt and a feeling of shame: just choose which emotions you want to experience. The first of these, by the way, is much more noble. Guilt consists of realizing that you have committed a reprehensible gesture, understanding that you can change it now and avoid it in the future. With someone like that, it’s always easier to make peace and improve relationships. On the other hand, the feeling of shame will not add anything, except the idea of ​​being a tremendous failure, making you fill your conscience with reproaches to yourself. Remember: self-destruction never brings anything positive.