7 phrases that parents often say, but that can disrupt the relationship between their children

Raising children is delicate and difficult work. And when there are several children, the process becomes even more complicated. It is important not only to maintain a relationship of trust with each one, but also to establish a connection between them. But, for reasons not so obvious, the education of children can be jeopardized. For example, when parents repeat everything they learned from their own parents without knowing whether they are concepts that have withstood the test of time or have completely lost their meaning.

We, from awesome.clubwe decided to find out which phrases are better not to use and why, if you want your children not to compete with each other and to be really happy and partners.

Comparing one child with another may seem like a good way to increase motivation. But really, in these circumstances, all your child understands is that you love his sister or brother more, and that he is worse in everything. This creates a feeling of bitterness and envy, which can lead to long-term self-esteem issues and fierce rivalry, even dishonest practices.

The experts’ recommendation is to keep younger children in the care of older ones only when there is a sufficient age difference. And it must be made clear that this should not become your child’s responsibility, as if he were a surrogate father. The responsibility lies with the parents. We can think, at most, of this type of situation as a demonstration that the older brother loves the younger one. Or consider this a specific situation (and not a habit) that can be rewarded.

The arrival of a new family member is stressful for older children, who may have mixed feelings and jealousy. Attempts to “light the fire of love” for the new baby because of blood ties can only exacerbate the rejection. It is better, in this case, to dedicate some alone (and quality) time with this older child. And, of course, it is important to explain that he has the right to emotions. Finally, it is worth encouraging affection for the youngest.

Giving the younger child a reason all the time or forcing the older one to endure and give in to everything can result not only in a rift appearing between them, but also in personal problems on the part of the older child. Thus, under the weight of responsibility and pressure, he may become an anxious and pessimistic perfectionist, who seeks approval and has difficulty making friends.

Another harmful habit of parents is the encouragement of excessive sibling rivalry. The tendency, in this case, is for both to feel anxious. After all, for children, competition is not just a game, and emotions, when winning or losing, are very strong. Therefore, it is better to make them cooperate and work as a team. For example, you might take on the role of a third contestant and lose on purpose a few times. Or, on the contrary, to win, so that the “team” learns to deal with defeat.

The ban on expressing emotions not only intensifies frustrations and does not solve the problem. On the contrary, it tends to aggravate it. After all, even adults have to deal with internal conflicts from time to time. Rather than telling children not to get angry, it’s better to listen to them, emphasize that their feelings are normal, and help them understand. And to resolve a conflict, it is recommended to praise teamwork and mutual help between brothers.

We all have a personality. Therefore, it is important that the people around us realize our strengths and unique qualities. The phrase “I love you equally” emphasizes that neither child is special. Instead, it’s better to emphasize the differences and praise each other for their talents. Then each child will feel important and precious in his own way.

In your opinion, what other common phrases are really harmful to a child’s mental health and sibling relationships?