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7 common habits that can hide an anxiety disorder from children

As parents or people who constantly live with children, we are generally alert to avoid situations that could harm their good development. It is common to say that the strength and independence of the adult of tomorrow are determined from childhood. However, there are attitudes in children that, although they seem very commonplace and may go unnoticed, may actually be indicating that something needs to be addressed.

O incredible.club wants to name some of these “common” attitudes that may indicate an anxiety disorder in your child.

A normal situation…?

We all, at some point in our lives, come to feel fear, anguish or worry that cause us physical reactions, such as perspiration. That’s anxiety. First of all, you have to understand that it is something human and that it can even be healthy. Anxiety, when it does not become a disorder, helps us in our daily lives, as it alerts us to possible threats and leads us to achieve goals that we consider important. For this reason, it is vital to understand three natural characteristics of anxiety:

It’s not dangerous🇧🇷 True, it can be very uncomfortable. However, anxiety is designed to alert and activate us. It’s temporary and part of our body’s response mechanism. It is adaptable🇧🇷 Anxiety adapts to the situation and prepares us for it. Thus, it activates our brain for an exam or pumps blood to our muscles, in case we need to escape. It’s part of life🇧🇷 Due to the above characteristics, anxiety is necessary in life and is part of it. Trying to completely eliminate it in a child, or even an adult, is virtually impossible.

…Or anxiety disorder?

The most important question is: when and at what point does it become a real clinical and psychological problem? To answer this question, you must take into account four characteristics that may indicate pathological anxiety:

it arises in situations that do not really pose any danger, it is disproportionate and even irrational; it is so intense that, far from being useful or productive, it becomes an obstacle in life and a constant suffering; it goes on for a long time until it becomes permanent and dominant; it becomes uncontrollable and can cause frustration in those who suffer from it.

Signs that your little one may have an anxiety disorder

1. Don’t want to sleep in your own bed

The transition from sleeping together all your life to sleeping completely alone is a complicated process for all children, especially if it happens when they are already aware of what is going on around them. Each process takes time and requires a lot of patience, but when change just won’t happen and you put your little one to bed at night and find him in yours in the morning, it could indicate an anxiety issue.

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A study conducted by Dr. Candice Alfano, a member of the Department of Psychiatry at the National Children’s Medical Center in Washington, examined sleep-related problems in children and youth with anxiety disorders. The survey determined that 88% of participants had at least one sleep-related problem, and the majority (55%) had three or more. Overall sleep problems were positively associated with anxiety severity, meaning that childhood anxiety disorders are strongly linked to sleep problems.

2. Excessive use of cell phone

We know that, nowadays, it is almost impossible for children, from a young age, not to become familiar with the technologies that are within their reach. This is especially true considering the example we set for them as parents. In addition, we cannot deny the facilities that these gadgets have brought us as a method of entertainment when we really need our children to remain calm.

However, a study conducted by San Diego State University, in conjunction with the University of Georgia, showed the association between anxiety problems and the use of electronic devices. Research suggests parents that their children spend no more than an hour a day in front of screens. Otherwise, they may develop emotional problems. Among the results, these were the main ones:

screen time is linked to psychological well-being in children and young people aged 2 to 17 years; people who use electronic devices for a long time show less curiosity, self-control and emotional stability; twice as many users who use screens for much longer (versus those who barely use them) have been diagnosed with anxiety or depression.

3. Leave your spaces in order and clean at all times

We know that many of us would like our children to be neat and tidy, but an overly orderly child is not common behavior. By nature, they are often disorganized and not very careful about cleanliness. A child suffering from an anxiety disorder will try to externalize it in different ways. This will indicate that she does not know how to deal with the anxiety she feels and even believes that her behaviors are normal.

It is in the midst of this confusion that anxiety can manifest itself in compulsive actions, such as cleaning your room all the time, constantly washing your hands, or acquiring bad habits, such as biting your nails or scratching your head frequently.

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“Some young people think that the way they feel and act is normal because it is expected of them. Too often, very studious or perfectionistic children believe it’s reasonable to study for hours and hours, keep their room as clean and bright as a pin, or wash their hands excessively after every activity,” says the Anxiety Disorders Association of British Columbia.

4. Setbacks in stages already overcome, such as going to the bathroom

It is more common than we think that, at a certain age, probably 5 years old, there will be a setback in a stage that was believed to have been overcome, such as involuntarily relieving oneself in inappropriate places, especially in bed. And while it’s common, it’s also likely that through this bedwetting mechanism, the child may be expressing a worry that they don’t know how to release.

A study from the University of Medical Sciences in Arak, Iran, found a clear relationship between nocturnal enuresis (the involuntary act of bedwetting) and general anxiety disorders in children. 180 healthy children without enuresis and 180 with this problem were analyzed. After the results, the research suggested that before childhood urinary incontinence, it is advisable to do a psychological study to rule out that it is an anxiety disorder.

5. Wants to please everyone, especially your parents

Children—and for that matter adults as well—with an anxiety disorder often develop enormous anxiety about disappointing others. This is especially true when it comes to the people you love the most. Thus, they spend their time pleasing and trying to satisfy the standards that others impose on them in order to be accepted, because they are unable to validate themselves. They give others the attention and care they deny themselves. Obviously, a child is at a stage where he is still learning to know and accept himself, which is why it is very important for parents to understand and support him.

The Doctor. Leon F. Seltzer, a psychologist who specializes in anger and trauma resolution, explains the harrowing reality of those who live with this compulsion to please. This, of course, can be exacerbated in childhood in the relationship with parents: “Such a person fears for everything: failure and rejection, losing approval and personal worth, being unworthy, inferior and ‘not good enough’. In addition, he is excessively concerned with satisfying others, feels insecure about his personal skills, abilities, or knowledge, and is afraid of disappointing family members. He feels an urge to get away from the constant stress of proving they are ‘good enough’ and the burnout of always trying so hard to be perfect.”

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6. Maintain a selective diet

There is a generalization in children between 4 and 7 years of age due to selective feeding. That is, they usually do not eat well and even refuse food. This frequency made parents and some doctors see such an attitude as normal during development, but it is not. Special attention must be given to our children’s diet, because the fact that it is a behavior classified as normal does not mean that it is harmless.

While it’s yet to be determined whether it’s cause or effect, a Duke University study has uncovered the undeniable link between anxiety and selective eating. 917 children between 2 and 6 years of age were examined through a cohort study, which indicated that anxiety levels were significantly higher in those who eat selectively, that is, who only cut out foods or decide to eat only what they like and in small portions. portions.

7. Delay your responsibilities

Sometimes it’s not about kids who don’t want to take care of their homework simply out of rebellion. In fact, they don’t feel able to do it well or correctly. And if so, it may generate more anguish than necessary. So we are talking about an attitude that, although it seems as common as refusing to do homework, can actually be a sign of anxiety.

“Chronic lateness in schoolwork goes hand in hand with feelings of shame, guilt and anxiety. So, even though your child may really want to achieve his goals, mood and emotion play a role that interferes with execution. In short, negative emotions can derail self-control, and as such, the key to reducing deferred behavior has a lot to do with improving emotions,” says Renee Jain, professor of Applied Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and creator of programs for GoZen!, an English platform that contributes to the relief of anxiety in children.

The workings of the human mind are always unpredictable, but these little signs can help you detect and manage anxiety in your child and not ignore it. Do you think yours has some kind of anxiety? How did it help you control your seizures?

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