67 funny status quotes that will show your good mood

Follow your dream. Keep sleeping.

I think my cupid likes math. It just gets me into trouble.

I make mistakes sometimes just to disguise my perfection.

The more things I have to do, the more time I spend on Facebook.

If you fall, I’ll be here! – Said the floor.

Already awake, but still unable to distinguish Maiara from Maraísa.

I went to play wrestling with life and I’m getting beat up until now!

Nobody is forced to like me, after all, not everyone is born with good taste.

Stumbling around in public is just one of my seduction techniques.

If boredom is a trend, today I’m in fashion.

Everyone is always asking for more this or that, but I only ask for less: less work, less problems, less bills to pay…

If it’s my fault, I put it on whoever I want.

homer Simpson

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Every morning I wake up in a good mood, but then I remember that I have to get out of bed.

Between putting up with a friend in love and hitting the corner, which piece of furniture would you choose?

You have to love people as if they were Friday!

A toast to our flaws, because with our qualities nobody really cares.

If those who love take care, many people must love me. Because what about people taking care of my life, it’s no joke!

Mirror, mirror… Why do people care more about my life than I do?

Getting through the day without pissing off some friends makes the day feel like it’s not complete.

If hitting wood takes away bad luck, I need to deforest the Amazon at the base of the beating.

Injustice is having so many dreams in your head and so little money in your bank account to fulfill them!

Not all men are immature, but they all have a little stubborn child.

Remember that day when I asked your opinion? Funny I don’t either!

A hungover man doesn’t want war with anyone.

I pretend to agree with boring people just so they’ll shut up.

I love gossip. I learn things about myself that I didn’t even know.

I went to look in the mirror and saw the love of his life.

Tell me who you hang out with and I’ll tell you who I’m jealous of.

Whoever wants to like me, has to be out of love. I don’t have money and beauty is in short supply!

Avoid frying, gluten, sweets and undecided!

The world would be better if before posting an indirect, the person stopped to analyze if the indirect also works for them.

If the person doesn’t like me, it’s obvious they have bad taste!

My life represented in Roman numerals: VIXI.

If I earned R$1.00 for each disappointment, I would be disappointed in Paris.

If I answer ironically, know that it’s only because your question was stupid.

Love is not what when it arrives you hope it never ends. The name of it is holiday.

Meteor falls, internet falls. I just don’t have any money in my account.

We interrupt your opinion for the pronouncement of my “screw it”.

Nice your opinion, too bad I don’t care about it.

I don’t make sense because I already drink beer and I don’t mix.

I went to shake the dust and turn around… Then the rhinitis attacked me!

I’m looking for someone who understands me and then explains it to me.

In fact, only those who believe in the change of others own the carrier.

Your message has been successfully received, viewed and ignored!

The only happy ending I know of is the weekend.

I’m so busy being nice that I don’t have time to be nice.

There are two types of people in the world: those who always finish their sentences and those who…

It’s so much sleep that each blink is a different dream.

I’m so nerdy that when I see Neymar kicking I think if he pressed L2 + square.

If you found my answer irritating now imagine your question.

If I cried or smiled, the important thing is that I didn’t ask for your opinion!

I’m more beautiful every day, sad news for those who hate me.

If I had the beauty I have for sleep… My God, how beautiful I would be!

I am in urgent need of a vacation. Too bad my boss doesn’t agree with me.

If you’re going to drive, don’t drink, if you’re going to drink, call me!

Don’t confuse persistence with being boring as hell.

My life is a tale of failures.

My belly is not defined, because those who define themselves limit themselves.

I only regret the yogurt caps I threw away without licking.

More and more month is left at the end of the money!

There are people who make any place happier, but only when they are away.

I need to find some way to make money off my laziness.

As long as there is cell phone with internet, there will be insomnia.

I look normal, but I already said goodbye to a plane.

I know you see my life as a soap opera, but it’s not worth making up stories, you have to wait for the next chapter like everyone else!

There are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and my way, which is the same as the wrong way, only faster.

homer Simpson