6 Cases in which it is not worth following your mother’s advice

There’s no denying it: the maternal figure is, for most of us, a more than fundamental piece in life. Whether as children or even as adults, it is to her that we turn when things go wrong and, on the other hand, it is to her that we tell our achievements.

Many people call their mother to ask for recipes, to discuss relationship issues and even to ask for investment advice.

We know that a mother’s heart is not deceived, but, we are sorry to say, in some cases they are not the best source of advice. And it is precisely these cases that we would like to talk about here.

At the incredible.club we dismantle situations in which it is better not to listen to your mother’s advice, as they may omit personal opinions, which may not be the most profitable for you.

Such mothers always know what and how to do. They usually have advice to give on any subject. Sometimes maternal behavior is driven by the desire to solve all the vital problems of the children, as well as to maintain power over them. At any age, she will try to solve her children’s problems by limiting her interests and acquaintances to a small number of people she examines and over whom she has some influence. An authoritative mother knows what is best for her son and will try to impose that opinion on him, without giving him the possibility to disagree.

If this is the case for you, remember that your life is only in your hands. And a mother cannot influence the decisions you consciously make: changing jobs, choosing a partner or divorce, moving to another country, etc.

Yes, we are talking here about mothers who are education professionals. And some of them feel like full-time teachers, even at home. If in an educational center the desire to teach and give advice is pertinent, at home this behavior becomes a monologue about how to act in this or that situation. A mother-teacher with this profile can give her opinion on how to run a household, for example, or how to build a relationship based only on her own experience.

But, before listening to the next advice, ask yourself this question: “What do I really want?” Your personal opinion has to cover everything: your choice of clothes, your relationship with your loved one, your professional career. Of course, you can listen to your mother’s recommendations to avoid a conflict. But the final decision will always be yours.

A classic case. Often the reasons for a mother to be overprotective reside in concerns about the well-being of the child or in her perfectionism, the desire to do everything the best way, not giving the child the opportunity to make mistakes and learn. The consequences of this type of education are manifested in a low level of socialization of children and inability to make decisions. That is why mothers often continue to decide everything for their children, even when they are adults.

If your mother’s opinion is important to you even today, in a conversation try to give him back responsibility for his suggestions. For example, “Mom, if you think this is going to help me change my life and be happier, why don’t you make that kind of decision in your own life?” or, simply: “Do you want me to get married sooner? And what will my marriage bring you?”

The phrase “You’re going to give me a heart attack” can often be heard from manipulative mothers. The willingness to manipulate is often dictated by a feeling of insecurity and worry that something can only be received through total control or distrust. If your mom swallows some pills and puts her hand on her chest just because she doesn’t accept that you’re going on a trip with friends, believe me: that’s not a reason to change your plans. If you are already emancipated, your decision is always final.

It is not worth responding to manipulations with exasperation, anger or fury. Hold back. Express tenderness, understanding and gratitude. If your parents try to manipulate you with childish jabs, act like an adult. Express your points rationally and without shouting or making a fuss.

Perfectionist mothers express themselves in some very characteristic ways. The most classic of them is probably the transfer of one’s own perfectionism to the children, who are more and more demanded in relation to certain types of behavior. Mothers like this control every step of their children and actively participate in their destiny, giving hints all the time. And, as we’ve already said, they demand of their children no less than 10-point performance, whether in sports, school, music class, or wherever.

In such situations, it is worth understanding that your mother’s excessive fears about your fate become a problem for your mother, and not for you. That’s why it’s not worth accepting your opinion about everything. Is it worth achieving an ideal, unattainable result just for the pleasure of pleasing your mother? Ask yourself: “Am I comfortable under this pressure?”

Some mothers are unfortunately as young as their youngest children and use their weaknesses to get other people to solve their problems. In a relationship with their daughters, they try to act as if they were their best friends.

In these relationships, a clear establishment of limits; otherwise, all your life you will hope that your infant mother will solve your problems, when they can barely cope with their own problems. Mothers like this also try to merge excessively in their children’s lives, participating in everything. They try to put themselves in the position of a best friend or a person of the same age, giving advice to their children about the personal aspects of their lives. Try not to be hostile or overly reactive to this type of behavior, but act from your heart, especially in your personal life.