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5 exercises to face what hurts you

Surely no one has taught you to face what hurts you directly, just as they taught you mathematics in school.. Perhaps, they have always told you “don’t cry”, “time heals everything”, “it will pass”… But none of this has helped you, in fact, it has made you feel worse. Therefore, today we propose 5 exercises to confront what hurts you and that perhaps you have never been told about.

Ignoring the pain you feel or trying to ignore it is not an option. This emotion needs a direct lookeven if it hurts, and face it so that it does not become entrenched and continue to erode our skin for many years.

1. Learn to let go of pain

To perform the first of the exercises to face what hurts you, just You will need a pencil or a small object that will not break. Hold it in your hand and squeeze it as hard as you can. Now, you are going to imagine that that object is your emotions, your thoughts or that person who does you no good.

At first, squeezing that object will be uncomfortable. But then your hand will end up hurting. When this happens, let go and allow that object, in which you have visualized that everything that hurt you was, fall to the ground. Realize how you were able to let go of it and how you held on to it. The same thing happens with all those emotions or people that cause you so much pain. You can let them go.

When we cling to certain situations we consider that they are already part of us even if they hurt us and we are not able to realize that we are the ones who are choosing to suffer. At any moment, we can detach.

2. Observe how you speak to yourself

This second of the exercises to face what hurts you will help you understand how you talk to yourself.. Maybe you think you do it in a positive way, but you will be surprised when you discover that you give yourself more negative phrases and thoughts than you thought. To do it well we are going to give you an example.

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Imagine you are at the gym and someone strikes up a conversation with you. When you say goodbye, the other person tells you “I’m glad I talked to you” and you take a while to react. You get a little nervous and answer a little unsure “I say the same.” When you’re walking to the locker room you can’t stop thinking about how stupid you are and how ridiculous you always make yourself when talking to other people.

The important thing is that you are aware of all these situations and that, as soon as you can, you stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself what you have thought. Is positive? How negative would you rate it? You will realize how you hit your self-esteem over and over again without being aware of it.only suffering its effects.

3. Anchor yourself to the present

One way to deal with what hurts you is to practice another exercise, anchoring yourself to the present.. Surely the mindfulness technique sounds familiar to you. Therefore, let’s see how you can focus on the present moment, forgetting about the past and the future for a moment, since that is where the pain is.

For a week, choose something you want to focus on. For example, on Monday in how you breathe, on Tuesday in how your feet are in contact with the ground, on Wednesday in how the water rubs against your skin when you wash your hands, the dishes or when you shower… Do the same for the rest of the days of the week. This will help you appreciate the little things and allow you to let go a little more of what hurts you.

Holding on to what hurts us prevents us from enjoying the little things, because everything revolves around that pain that we can let go of at any moment.

4. Put yourself in the worst

This fourth of the exercises to confront what hurts you will allow you to reduce the drama of the situation that is making you suffer.. Many times, emotions cloud our vision so much that it seems like everything is terrible. Therefore, you are going to try to put yourself in the worst case.

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Imagine that you and your partner are not well. You have been holding on to a relationship that hurts you for some time and it is difficult for you to put an end to it. Sometimes, You see clearly the decision you must make, but fear invades you and prevents you from taking action. Even if it’s difficult, put yourself in the worst.

What’s the worst that could happen? Perhaps, staying alone, being different from the rest of your friends for not having a partner, not being with someone who gives you love as a partner… We suggest that you write down all these difficult, but not dramatic, circumstances. Thus, you will begin to realize that many of the things you mention are not so serious.

For each response, try to give reasons why he should hurt you. In some cases, you will find that you cannot get an answer that is not absurd. In others, you will be aware that it is true that a situation can hurt, but what leads you to suffer is the fact that you cling to it.

5. An essential question

Holding on to pain is something that leads you, inexorably, to suffering.. Therefore, all the exercises to confront what hurts you that we have talked about can help you see more clearly everything that happens to you and, thus, make a decision that benefits you.

Finally, a last exercise consists of just one essential question. What would you say to someone who was going through the same thing as you? Put yourself in the situation that it is your brother or a friend who is experiencing the situation you are going through. The answer to the question you have asked yourself will be what you should apply to yourself. This question can help you open your eyes.

“I had to let go and hold on to myself very tightly.”

-Anonymous-

We tend to hold on to pain, causing it to transform into suffering. The irony is that we can release it whenever we want, but to achieve this we have to be aware of what we are doing. How many times have you held on to what hurt you? How did you get out of that?

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