40 funny single quotes to enjoy life and freedom

Who needs to date when I can have a snack without sharing?

I don’t have a half of the orange, because I think it has already turned into juice and found another one to drink it.

I realized that dating could ruin all my plans, so that’s why I’m single, but… If someone wants to destroy my future, I’m in.

Single life is like this: talking to a little guy while I put 5 others on hold.

Single by choice, but that choice was not made by me, it was by my ex who didn’t want to be with me anymore.

I’m looking for a love that doesn’t like to share food, because only then will I stop being single.

I’d rather drink than date because beer will never let my heart down.

My love life is just like my empty wallet!

I don’t need anyone to make me happy because I already have fun alone with the disappointment that is my love life.

I have no problem being single, others have a problem dating me.

My cupid doesn’t hit the target because he can’t find someone who matches me. It has more than 1.70 is not easy.

Being single is easy when you’re not needy. The problem is, I’m needy all the time.

The problem is that I am single in love and I give my heart to a different person every 5 minutes.

About my love life: only Jesus to work a miracle.

This year I didn’t give up on love, he gave up on me. In the meantime, I just want to know how to enjoy the naughtiness of being single.

I’m not very picky, I just want someone who likes to eat dogão and doesn’t ask for a piece of mine.

The only mouth I’ve been kissing is the litrão’s.

I’m the type of single who likes to be alone, but I also like to date, so I live in contradiction.

I’m too funny to be in a serious relationship, so I don’t start dating.

I don’t believe in Cupid because he never did anything for me, otherwise I would.

The hard thing about being single is having no talent for flirting and just relying on luck.

I like weekends a lot, that’s why I don’t date, because I would have to stop going out.

Love is blind and it seems so am I because I can’t find mine.

I like being single because crush has a time to arrive and to leave and I don’t need to satisfy anyone.

I don’t need to find the love of my life, I just need to get rich.

The way my life is, I find it easier to get a job than to start dating.

I pretend to everyone that my goal is to stay single because then no one bothers me.

I think it’s easier for me to win the mega-sena than to win my crush’s heart.

Whoever wants to trade, I can hand over my bachelorhood for the greatest number of benefits.

I’m single, but I’m great at cuddling. Anyone who wants to try it, I’m donating kisses.

I’m happy single on sunny days; on rainy days, I’m not so sure.

The problem is, my heart likes the slutty and doesn’t want to get involved with anyone.

At least, being single, I know I won’t be horned.

For lack of choice, I chose to be single… But it was the choice of people who didn’t want to stay with me.

I’m lazy to meet new people, so if I want to date, I’ll have to go after the ones I already know too.

I love being single because there’s no one fighting me all the time except my conscience.

I’ve already given up on finding a girlfriend, now I’ll just wait for her to find me.

My love life is the same as my financial life, I don’t leave 0.

I thought being single was just joy and it is, joy of not sharing snacks. Sadness is in winter when there is no one to warm me.

I just don’t date because I really like sleeping alone in a double bed.