40 funny dog quotes that will brighten up your day

They say that dogs smell very good, so if my dog thinks I’m the most amazing person in the world, who am I to doubt it?!

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from dogs, it’s that we should never trust motorcycles.

My dog doesn’t bark, he sets off the alarm and there’s no saint to turn it off!

Has anyone noticed that the poorer a person is, the more dogs they have? I’m thinking of opening a kennel at my house.

Being in a lot of trouble because of a betrayal is coming home with the smell of another dog on your clothes and having to explain yourself to your pet.

If a thief tries to rob my house, my dog lets him in, asks for affection and, if he knew how to talk, he would tell me where I keep the money.

When I need to get up early, I get up angrier than a pinscher when he sees a mailman.

Do not be deceived! When a dog looks at you, he’s not thinking: I loved this human, I’m going to choose him to be my owner! He’s looking at you and trying to say: human, is there food in his house?

It would be great if the dog looked at the human being and asked: do you have a pedigree? If not, I don’t want to mix with people of your ilk.

My dog is the owner of the house, I’m just the tenant who buys food and takes him for a walk.

My dog poops and looks at me as if to say: this is the result of that soap-flavored food you insist on giving me. Now clean!

I throw the ball and tell my dog: fetch! He looks at me very seriously and gets an expression like: I’m looking for you, I didn’t send you to play, I’m not your employee.

And my dog who has the audacity to fart in the elevator and look at me like, Was that you, human? How ugly!

If you’ve never talked for long hours with a toffee stray dog, you don’t know what it’s like to come back really crazy from a late-night stroll.

My dog is a great trainer, he makes me fulfill all his wishes when he wants and the way he likes.

There are dogs that are so ugly that they are cute. Is the same true for humans?

I go to sleep smart as a Yorkshire terrier and wake up with hair like a poodle that has just had a bath.

My dog sees me wearing a mask and looks at me as if asking: human, what mischief did you do to need to wear that muzzle?

In quarantine, I finally understood my dog’s joy. I hear the noise of the gate and I want to run out into the street.

Careful, stay away! Today, I’m so angry that if a pinscher bites me, it gets angry.

First, the dog approaches. Then he licks your hand, wins your heart and, before you know it, he stole your favorite spot on the couch.

If you don’t like dogs, don’t come to my house as my dogs don’t like cool humans.

My dog is so fearful and hungry that if a thief arrives to rob him, he’s very likely to say: you can take my human, just don’t mess with my reason.

The more I live with humans, the more I love dogs.

A thief can enter the house and my dog doesn’t wake up, but just open a package of cookies and he comes running.

Owning a pug is like having a tractor running inside your house all day.

I want someone who looks at me with the same passion my dog looks at a bone and my food.

My dog must look at me and think: this human needs a bath! He doesn’t know how to cuddle without drooling.

Can someone explain to me how so much hate fits inside a pinscher?

When I take my dog to the vet, he looks at me with a little face, like: you said we were going for a walk, I trusted him. How did you dare to do this to me?!

If you have dogs at home, you don’t need an alarm clock. They wake you up with a lot of face licking.

Sometimes my dog looks at me as if to say: human, I gave you a lot of affection, now I deserve a treat.

Malandro is the dog that gets the dog pregnant and doesn’t pay child support.

From the gate in, my dog is a pit bull. From the gate out, he’s a Yorkie.

My dog is like a gossipy neighbor: he spends all day at the window, taking care of other people’s lives.

When I scold my dog, he pretends he doesn’t understand what I say, but when I ask him for a walk, he doesn’t have to say it twice. He comes running and brings the leash with him.

I complain so much about life to my dog that if he knew how to talk, he would start charging me for the hours of therapy session.

My dog is so jealous that when I leave the house, he makes a point of jumping on me and leaving my clothes full of fur so everyone knows that my heart already has an owner.