13 questions to create intimacy

Do you have a date and would you like it to take place in a space -physical and mental- of intimacy? How to achieve this connection with the other? In this article we bring you some questions to create intimacy inspired by the study of researchers.

After all, questions and communication in general They are a way to meet another person, open up, create spaces for connection. and comfort… That is why it is so important to choose what words to use and what questions to ask, without losing the naturalness and spontaneity of the moment. You dare?

How to create intimacy and connection: key questions

Years ago, in 1997, Arthur Aron, a researcher in Social Psychology at the Interpersonal Relations Laboratory at Stony Brook University in New York, and his collaborators They investigated the methodology to create closeness between two people in an experimental context. Through their study, they came to develop a list of questions to generate intimacy between two people.

The results were published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. The questions they developed allowed them to create an atmosphere of intimacy and comfort between two people that stimulated their desire to see each other again.

Below we collect the questions that we found most interesting. You can do them when you feel more comfortable during the meeting or date with the other person.

1. What would a perfect day be like for you?

You may be surprised by this first question, since it is not intimate as such, but it can be interesting to know the tastes and preferences of the other person. If the answer is right, you will have a few details to surprise her later.

2. What is the greatest achievement of your life?

With this question you will get to know the other person more: how they see themselves, what they would highlight about their successes, what is one of the things they value most in their life on a general level… These are aspects related mainly to their self-esteem.

3. How important are love and affection in your life?

Although it may seem like a very typical question, the reality is that it is not given the attention it deserves. The answer will provide you with very valuable information about the role that love plays in the other person’s life and what their love languages ​​are.

4. What does friendship mean to you?

It is a question that reveals interesting information about the other: what they value, what they understand by friendship, even what their friends are like.

5. Can you tell your life story in four minutes?

A very relevant question, since allows you to create an even more intimate environment. Your answer can highlight the most important milestones in your life and the events that have had the greatest impact on you.

6. Share an uncomfortable moment you experienced

An invitation that can make you laugh and create connection and complicity between both of you. And, when we talk about uncomfortable moments, many times they are funny moments, that have made us feel ashamedand that we remember with joy after the passage of time.

7. When did you last cry in front of another person? And alone?

Talk about emotions is to create intimacy. With this question you are offering the other person the possibility of making a small confession about themselves and their deepest emotions.

8. Take turns saying five qualities the other person has

A question that can unite you, facilitating that connection. Plus, it’s a good time to find out what the other one of us likes.

9. What aspect of your life are you most grateful for?

Without a doubt, it will give you information about what he values ​​and appreciates in his life.

10. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

The answer can help you discover what the other person is like: fearful? Daring? Do you have a need to know, curiosity…? Or do you prefer to live in the moment without thinking about the future?

11. Do you have a secret feeling about how you will die?

To talk about death is to bring intimacy one step closer. Furthermore, this question is very intimate because it talks about secret thoughts, which perhaps have never been shared with anyone before.

12. What is your most terrible memory?

A question that investigate a memory that may be painful and that, therefore, will be able to make the other person open their heart to you.

13. If you died tonight without the opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you regret not having said? Why haven’t you said it yet?

Finally, this question is also very intimate, because reveals what is important to the other: people, moments, situations, relationships… This is a very personal issue that can bring you even closer and make you open up emotionally.

And you, what questions to create intimacy would you ask someone you like, or who you are interested in knowing more about? Would you use any of these? What comes to your mind?

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