10 reasons why a married man is looking for his lover again

You had a thing with a man who was married once…or twice. Okay, three times.

But you finished him off before things got too complicated, but then he shows up once more in your life, going through his usual moves with you.

I’m sure you’re wondering why he’s doing that. Could it be that she begins to feel something more for you? Or do you just have those passionate encounters you don’t want to give up?

So, in this article, we will share all the possible reasons why a married man keeps coming back to you, and how you can handle it.

10 Reasons Why A Married Man Looks For His Lover Again

1) He is fighting for your love

It may seem hard to believe, but just because he keeps coming back to you doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about your feelings or is selfish.

He’s cheating, sure, but that doesn’t mean he’s necessarily a womanizer or backstabber, or that he’s trying to be a jerk to his wife. Falling in love with someone else can happen without one planning it.

Chances are he’s sad and confused… and possibly in love with you.

Maybe he is convinced that you really are the woman for him. Maybe you are even convinced that you are soul mates.

He had to walk away when things started to get more serious, of course.

Maybe you asked him, or maybe he backed down out of guilt. But he just can’t resist you, and that’s the most likely reason he keeps coming back.

2) You are looking for validation

While this is not always the case, men who cheat on their wives are not happy with their marriage for one reason or another.

He may be hungry for praise (especially if he’s the narcissistic type), or he may not be getting the emotional or sexual attention he thinks he should from his wife.

He might even feel “less of a man” because he’s not as appreciated as he could be. It may sound inconsistent and unfair, but believe me it’s something that happens.

The truth is that most men need a certain amount of praise and validation, especially from their partners, to feel comfortable.

And if they don’t get them from his wife, well…they’ll look elsewhere.

And maybe it’s the case that you make him feel especially good about himself.

3) He is bored with his relationship, again!

There are some people who should never get married. I’m sorry but it is true.

I’m talking about those men who get bored too quickly and start looking for “fun” as soon as their relationships become established or a little complicated.

Unfortunately, it is inevitable that relationships become somewhat routine or monotonous over time in marriage or even dating. There is such a thing as responsibilities at the end of the day. And there will always come a point where we get used to each other. Life is not always an endless party.

But he’s still looking for the party, and it just so happens that you’re a lot of fun to be with.

You don’t burden him with orders, chores, budgets and diaper changes. Instead, you keep him in a world of illusion with conversations about travel, sex, and mutual hobbies.

You’re his “fun girl” and he runs to you when he’s bored, only to return to his wife when he’s satisfied his need.

4) He really didn’t stop loving you

It is worth considering the possibility that he is gone but has never stopped loving you.

Perhaps he moved away to protect you or to avoid arousing his wife’s suspicions.

Time passed and he really couldn’t stop thinking about you. So when he couldn’t take it anymore, he came back to you once more.

The heart wants what it wants, they say.

There is no doubt that yours is a very difficult place to be if you are a sensible woman.

It is not a normal type of love situation that can be easily resolved.

5) He misses his “emotional psychologist”

Yes, that’s you.

Maybe you can’t help it. You always offer a helping hand, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. And everyone loves you for it.

People find it easy to talk to you. It’s like they can tell you everything that’s on their mind and not worry about being judged or rejected.

And this is something that people find attractive, especially those who have trouble being heard.

It may be that this married man feels alone in his marriage, feeling empty, lost, and trapped. And yet, at the same time, guilty for wanting to seek relief.

You want someone who can offer you emotional comfort. His wife, for one reason or another, couldn’t provide that…so he comes to you instead of her.

6) He is testing you

If he wants to keep pushing your limits even though you’ve told him you don’t want to see him anymore, it’s because he knows you can’t resist him.

He’ll message you to see how enthusiastic your responses are, and he’ll walk up to you to see if you’ll flinch or reply.

I could even tell you a thousand and one lies in order to keep you excited.

And as long as he keeps getting the answer he’s looking for, he’ll keep reaching out to you every chance he gets.

He’s done it before and he wants to know if you still let him be with you.

Not necessarily because he’s decided he actually wants to get serious with you, but just so he knows where you stand IF he ever decides to pick you.

7) He is testing himself

So not only does he want to know where you stand, he wants to decide how much HE likes you.

Some men measure how much they love a person by how much they are willing to risk for her.

He is evaluating how much he is willing to do for you, because he is probably wondering if you really are the “great love” he has been looking for. And if it’s really worth leaving everything he has for you.

He’s probably just as amazed as you are that he keeps coming back to you when he’s so married.

He is probably evaluating whether he would be willing to sacrifice his marriage, his reputation, and everything else for you.

8) Think you are “easy” prey

Many of the married men who cheat are actually decent guys who are living through complicated circumstances in their marriage, be it disagreements, age crises, or other life obstacles.

But sadly, there are also many men who cheat because they know they can.

They are predators who enjoy the thrill of the “hunt” and go after women they think are “easy” to get.

And if he knows you like him even though he’ll never offer you anything more than a passing thing, he’ll definitely keep coming back for more.

I’m sure most women have gone through something similar. Going back to a guy who is in a relationship with the hope that he will eventually dump his girlfriend. But in the end, he leaves you once again, and he tells you that he was always clear (or not?) and that he never wanted anything serious with you.

Men like these are not worth it.

They just want that feeling of conquest and mastery of having women dancing in the palm of their hands. If you are this type of person, you better get away as soon as you can.

9) He is incredibly indecisive

This married man just keeps going back and forth because he can’t choose between you and his wife.

He likes you enough to keep seeing you, but on the other hand, choosing you would mean saying goodbye to his relationship with his wife… as well as his children, if he has any.

Guilt harasses him more strongly if his relationship is not even “unhappy.”

He may have a warm-hearted and loving wife… so he doesn’t even understand why he sought you out in the first place!

On the one hand, he could give in to those feelings that start to grow inside him for you and the love you have for him. But on the other hand, she could work to rediscover his feelings for his wife and enjoy the stability and love that he already has in his life.

It’s not necessarily an easy choice. That’s why he leaves you and then can’t help but come back.

10) He wants you to officially become his side girl

If he “could” you for the second, third, or fourth time, that means to him that you are willing to accept the situation, and that you can continue to be just his side girl. Some men love this.

This is especially true if you know that he is not going to leave his wife. Either he told you directly or because you found it out elsewhere.

It might even be possible for his wife to know about you and tolerate the “affair” as long as she’s sure of what your role is: the supporting role.

This could happen in couples who have been together for many years and have become very emotionally involved, but prefer to have open relationships.

So if this is the case, you can expect to always be option B.

There’s no way you’re ever going to take him away from his wife, and he won’t choose you if you try.

You may agree with the whole situation, or you may not.

It’s important to ask yourself how you feel about just being the side girl.

What can you do if you are in this complicated situation?

There are four possible situations you will face when dealing with a married man who keeps coming back.

The first is when you no longer want it at all. This one is pretty easy to deal with: just walk away and block it if you have to.

Another is that his wife is aware and accepts that he has an affair with you for one reason or another. In this case, you should probably assess whether the situation is comfortable for you and seek good communication with him.

The other two scenarios are a bit more complicated.

Scenario 1: You love him but you know he is not good for you and you want to leave him

Be firm and sure with your decision.

Before you confront him with your decision to cancel the adventure, stop to remember why you want to end it. List your reasons if necessary.

Unfortunately, men can be quite stubborn and this could make it more difficult for you to let go.

You have to be ready for any excuse he may give you to try to change your mind… because he will try.

Have a heartfelt conversation with him.

Tell him honestly why the whole situation is not working for you and what you need him to do.

You should talk about:

How everything makes you feel. Your limits. Why it is important to you that he respect your boundaries. What you will do if he does not respect them.

Note: Avoid being too emotional. Don’t say “I love you but…” You’ve already decided that you want to break up, remember? So don’t leave any door open, you made this decision for a reason.

Make sure he respects your limits.

Even though you asked him to respect your space and not come back, don’t expect him to comply.

He will try to make you fall in love with him again. That is sure. Men who want something will do even more to get it if they know they can’t have it.

That is why you will have to stay alert and strong.

Work on your own healing.

Saying goodbye to a man who has entered your heart is easier said than done, I know.

Maybe you have tried before, but you have failed.

It’s easy to say that he’s charming and that’s why he convinces you, but…