10 phrases that only clueless guests say to the bride and groom

Anyone who has organized a wedding knows that the bride and groom often go through unpleasant situations. Unless the celebration is for a small group of people, there are almost always “no-nonsense” guests, whose lines leave the couple in a real tight spot. The good thing is that the day is usually so magical and happy, that the bride and groom end up taking everything in a good mood.

Today the awesome.club gathered stories of newlyweds who didn’t know how to respond to somewhat inconvenient guests. Check the list and learn which phrases should be avoided to maintain positivity during the wedding organization.

When we talk about marriage, parents usually want to invite a series of relatives that are important to them, but are not part of the couple’s life. With a limited list, the bride and groom often stop inviting dear friends to prioritize second or third degree relatives — who often don’t even know the name of the person they’re marrying.

Therefore, it is important to have a balance: the bride and groom must keep in mind that the wedding is a party that celebrates the union between families. But parents must also know how to prioritize and understand that it is their children’s dream day. And they deserve to be next to people who love and root for their love.

My fiance and I are paying for the entire wedding. But my fiance’s mother always wants to add guests to the list. We originally planned about 250 people, but now we are 300. What started with just your grandparents, godparents and an aunt, has basically turned into inviting the whole family so no one gets “offended”. We don’t really have the budget for that. © lemmonpepperTA / Reddit

We bet that almost every couple has heard that phrase. It is not so positive, as each couple has a different dream: buying a house, traveling the world, having a child… and marriage can also be part of the list of great accomplishments.

For the bride and groom, marriage is not “just” a party. This will probably be one of the most important days of their lives, where they will gather all the people they love most in the same environment. Just to party and celebrate love. So for some couples, this celebration is worth every penny.

I’m ashamed to admit I thought so, but I remember someone telling me how much they spent on the wedding and I was thinking to myself, “Thirty grand on a wedding?! This is crazy! Wouldn’t you like to use that money to give an advance, or take a vacation, or do literally anything other than a silly party?” How naive I was! Today I have the realization that marriage is the only time when everyone who cares about us will be in the same room. 🇧🇷 Ep1cDuCK / Reddit

There is a cruel truth about weddings: each guest costs money. So, if the party was planned for 100 guests and only 50 showed up on the day, that means the bride and groom paid much more than they should. That’s why confirming attendance is so important for the bride and groom.

However, many guests do not call or are embarrassed to say that they are not going to a wedding. And they prefer to say that “they cannot confirm” or that “it is likely that they will”. But this is the biggest nightmare of many bride and groom, because then they can’t calculate the expenses, nor the size of the party. Most of the time, it’s better to politely decline the invitation than to stall and not show up on the day.

In addition, the bride and groom are in a difficult position to “collect” their guests’ responses. That is, if you received an RSVP, try to respond as early as possible. The bride and groom are grateful.

All my guests have responded whether or not, except one person and their “plus one”. I’m trying not to pressure my fiancé, because the person is his friend. My fiance says they work on Saturdays on our wedding day. This situation wouldn’t be so much of a problem, but we’re serving individual meals and I have to deliver the list IN A WEEK! I try to snatch a definitive answer, but I feel like I’m pushing. © sparkleraven / Reddit

It’s like the saying goes: guest does not invite. As we mentioned earlier, every wedding budget is based on the number of guests. So, imagine if all the people invited to the party took one or two escorts? If the bride and groom didn’t comment and the invitation doesn’t make that clear, then it’s best not to ask if you’re entitled to a “plus one”.

But of course it’s much better to ask in advance than to show up on the day with extra guests. That’s because if the list is much longer than expected, the bride and groom pay a higher amount for each “intruder”.

At my wedding, we invited a couple when we met the two of them. But if we don’t know the partner, he/she will not receive an invitation. For me, my marriage is celebrating with my closest and dearest friends, and that doesn’t include people I’ve never met, no matter how serious their relationship with my friend is. © janetsnakehole863 / Reddit

Believe it or not, some people even ask if they will be chosen as godmothers or godfathers. Now, imagine how embarrassing this situation is for the bride and groom. How should they respond? When in doubt, it is better to wait for the official invitation. And we guarantee that if the request is spontaneous, that moment can be even more special.

Before getting engaged, I went to get my nails done with a good friend and we talked about when the proposal would take place. She then asked “can I be godmother?” I wasn’t planning on calling her, but I stalled saying I wasn’t sure who she would be yet. Now I’ve called my three best friends from college, but I feel obligated to include her in something. © veloCHARaptor / Reddit

Giving tips and suggestions respectfully is great and can help a lot who is getting married, but avoid making comparisons with previous marriages. It is important to know that each couple has their own tastes and priorities are not always the same. It is worth remembering that there are no rules when it comes to marriage. The essential thing is to celebrate the union exactly the way the bride and groom imagined.

Our wedding will be on a date between the wedding of two other friends. I’m already stressed about staying within budget. But of course every time I talk to these friends, they talk about the amazing things they’ve planned and I can’t help but compare myself to mine. © K*ller_Sloth/Reddit

This topic is more geared towards bridesmaids. Many brides often think about a perfect color palette or dress code for their bridesmaids, but some want to go with very different tones. Of course, no one is obligated to wear a specific color or silhouette, but isn’t it great to be able to please the bride on her big day? You don’t have to spend money buying a piece to wear in a single day, but a good option is to see if anyone has a dress in that specific color to borrow.

And almost everyone knows a story of a guest who wore a white dress to the ceremony, right? This “rule of etiquette” dates back to the 19th century, when Queen Victoria wanted to wear a white dress for her ceremony and ordered guests not to wear the same shade. So, unless the bride really doesn’t care, avoid white at the wedding and let her shine!

I sent out the invites months ago and specifically mentioned in the dress code section: “Semiformal Attire (women, please don’t wear white!)” Then, a girl who is the wife of a guest (and we don’t know her well), came a day to me saying very casually “I bought this beautiful white dress to wear to your wedding and I rocked it, but the other girls told me not to wear it because only the bride can wear white. I’m a little upset, but that’s okay.” Honestly, I didn’t know how to react. © plopssy / Reddit

We believe that most brides and grooms are concerned about guests who have stricter diets and don’t want them to go hungry during the celebration. However, it is not always possible to create a menu that pleases everyone.

The problem is that certain guests prefer to take a more impolite approach by saying that they “will go hungry” or that “they will have to eat before” the wedding. Making all the guests happy (and with a full belly) is already a big concern for the bride and groom, so avoid saying something similar. The best thing to do is try to create a dialogue with the bride and groom in a positive and respectful way. Who knows it is not possible to create a special dish? But if that’s not possible, try to understand the bride and groom’s side.

I planned to ask our guests about their dietary restrictions, but the caterer recommended that we not do so. She says that when asked, people tend to say whatever comes to their mind. So it ends up becoming more a question of food preferences than of actual dietary restrictions. She assures you that if anyone has a real dietary restriction, they’ll get in touch in advance. © Jmus792 / Reddit

The bride and groom usually send out invitations months in advance. That is, guests have enough time to check the address and arrange a way to get to the ceremony site. But almost always there’s that guest who doesn’t know where the wedding is and doesn’t even enter the site carefully created by the bride and groom.

So, one of the worst things to do is send messages to the bride and groom asking for their address the day before or on the wedding day. Think about how many things they need to sort out. Now, imagine if they will be able to respond to messages from each guest? If you are lost, ask other guests for information or look up the address on the invitation or on the website.

I was literally in the hair and makeup chair getting ready for our wedding, when a friend texts me, “Hey, what time is the wedding and where?” I almost threw my phone across the room. I replied to the message with the link to our website and nothing else. And then my bridesmaids took off…