60 ALCOHOL Phrases – Very FUNNY for FRIENDS!

Every time I read that alcohol is bad, I stop reading.

Henry Youngman

According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.

I know that alcohol hurts me, but I’ve already forgiven him.

What if I drink alcohol? What part of ‘I’m a writer’ haven’t you understood?

Stephen King

Worse decisions are made when in love than when drunk. Point for alcohol.

After the first drink, you see things as you would like them to be. After the second. , you see them as they are not. And after the third, you see them as they really are. That’s the most horrible moment ever.

Oscar Wilde

Beer is the best proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin

Blank page syndrome is a term invented by writers to have an easy excuse to drink alcohol.

Steve Martin

I prefer to think that God is not dead, but drunk.

In 1969 I gave up alcohol and women. It was the worst 15 minutes of my life.

George Best

Walking straight and drinking a lot, it can’t be.

There are two types of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.

Chalsea Handler

If you don’t drink beer… how will your friend know how much you love him at 2 in the morning?

The clear mind and the dark beer.

Without TV and without beer, Homer loses his mind.

Homer Simpson

There are two reasons for drinking: one, when you are thirsty, to relieve thirst; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.

Alcohol is not the answer, but it makes you forget the question.

My maturity level depends on who I’m with and how much alcohol I’ve had.

Excess alcohol is harmful to your secrets.

Drank with good friends, any wine tastes good.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy. But doesn’t the Bible say to love your enemies?

Frank Sinatra

Everyone needs to believe in something. I think I’ll have another beer.

WC Fields

I drink, therefore I am.

WC Fields

I don’t have problems with beer, it’s the one that has problems with me.

Friend and wine, the oldest.

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t drink, the whole world is three drinks behind.

Humphrey Bogart

I haven’t drunk in a long time. You won’t have to force me.

Beer tastes better when you drink it with good friends.

You know that half drunk I function quite well.

For some it’s a six pack. For me it is a support group.

Leo Durocher

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

G.K. Chesterton

I wouldn’t put a thief in my mouth to steal my brain.

William Shakespeare

Alcohol gives you infinite patience to put up with stupidity.

Sammy Davis Jr.

Drunk men give some of the best pep talks.

Criss Jami

What sudden friendships arise from wine!

John Gay

Friendship is a soul that lives in two bodies; a heart that lives in two souls and a shared beer.

You can learn a lot from women by getting drunk with them.

Tom Waits

I drink to make others interesting.

Ernest Hemingway

I may be drunk, miss, but tomorrow morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

William Butler Yeats

In wine there is wisdom, in beer freedom, and in water bacteria.

Better famous drunk; what alcoholic anonymous.

I don’t drink anymore. I’m allergic to alcohol and drugs: I get handcuffs.

Robert Downey Jr

At parties, bad decisions are what create the best stories.

Because of the alcohol! Cause and, at the same time, solution to all the world’s problems!

Homer Simpson

The best cure for dipsomania (alcohol compulsion) is religiomania.

William James

I stopped drinking in June. It has been said that I left it the Christmas before, but that was not the case. I’m not stupid enough to try to stop drinking at Christmas.

Graham Coxon

There are worse things than a bad fuck. Try talking to someone of the opposite sex for a couple of days without drinking anything and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Santiago Pajares

Three times a day you should eat, and three times each time you should drink.

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we do not commit any sin. When we do not commit any sin, we go to Heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to Heaven!

Brian O’Rourke

I never drink water because of the disgusting things fish do in it.

Toilet fields

You’re not drunk if you can lie down on the ground without holding on.

Dani Martin

The hard part about being a waiter is figuring out who’s drunk and who’s just stupid.

Richard Brownstein

You’re not a cubata, you can’t make everyone happy.

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “let’s party.”

Robin Williams

You know it was a good party when you lose track of time.

Robert Farrar Capon

Beer is not a good party drink, especially if you don’t know where the bathroom is.

Billy Carter

A party without beer should be cancelled.

Axl Rose

Alcohol doesn’t solve your problems. But, well, neither does water.

Get ready, liver: today you have a test of talent.