100 FUNNY Phrases – Fun and Full of HUMOR!

Love is like WiFi, it is in the air but not everyone has the key.

Can I take a photo of you? So I can show Santa Claus what I want for Christmas.

Love is sharing dessert when the other person told you they didn’t want anything.

I can’t find my pillow, can you share yours?

I’ve lost my bed, can I sleep with you?

The love is that you share your data with me when I have aired it out in the middle of the month.

Mr. Wonderful

Chess should have taught you that with a bad move you can lose your queen.

Love knocked on my door… but I was at the supermarket.

There are people who treat you like Google, they only search for you when they want something.

My belly is madly in love with you. My heart too, but my belly holds more love.

God put in overtime when he made you.

Love is like sneezing, no matter how much you try to avoid it, it ends up coming out.

Valentine’s Day is stupid, but don’t even think about forgetting my gift.

-Honey, tell me something that will delight me. +Cow.

You have something on your face. Oh no, it’s just the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.

-Honey, tell me something that will make me see the stars. +Telescope.

-Honey… +What? -You are so beautiful that I have forgotten what I was going to tell you.

Sometimes I wonder what you saw in me that made you fall in love, but then I think I’d rather not find out.

It may seem strange to you, but I’m going to marry you.

You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day.

Is your name Google? Because in you I have found everything I was looking for.

If I keep looking at you like this, eventually I’ll need new eyes.

Your mother must be a pastry chef, because a hottie like you doesn’t make it just anyone.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, angel?

Who was an aviator to fly to your dreams!

Is your father a pirate? Because you are a treasure!

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to happen again?

You are like an iPhone, totally unreachable for me.

Don’t we, by any chance, have a mutual friend who can introduce us?

What beautiful eyes you have, when can I see them again?

Hello, I heard your body calling mine.

Stop looking for your better half, I’m here.

I don’t know how to kiss, do you think you could teach me?

You look like you wanted me to come talk to you.

We surely have many things in common, why don’t we discover them together?

What is the sun doing here among humans?

I know you don’t know me, but I am the future father of your children. (Or the future mother of your children)

I see that you have two hearts: yours and mine.

Who was a thief to steal your heart and ask for a million kisses as ransom.

My house is not a palace, but you could be the queen.

Spring must have started, because you are the first flower I see.

Can I use your phone? I want to call my mother to tell her that I have met the woman of my life.

I’m new here, can you tell me how I can get to your house?

Do I study you or work for you?

Sorry, I lost my phone, can I have yours?

Anything can be fun as long as it happens to someone else.

Will Rogers

Laugh and the world will laugh with you. Snore and you will sleep alone.

Anthony Burgess

Sometimes I forget my mistakes… what was your name?

I have less desire to work than the one who named the berries after him.

Time without you is me.

I hate it when they talk when I interrupt.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

The other day they told me I was lazy. He almost answered him, but he made me lazy.

A day without sun is night.

If the mountain comes towards you… run, because it is collapsing.

Don’t trust those who get up early and in a good mood.

Don’t give up on your dreams… sleep a little longer.

I can’t stop thinking about you since I lent you money.

Time is very valuable, spend it willingly.

I’m not fat, it’s just that my body can’t handle so much wisdom.

I want to caress you in the rain, with a bare wire.

I used to think I was indecisive, now I’m not sure.

I need someone who understands me so they can explain it to me later.

Something with love? Shock absorber.

Our friendship will be eternal. You know too much about me and I can’t let you escape.

Dear God, give me patience because if you give me strength I will use it.

The drug takes away your memory and… other things I don’t remember.

There is a better world… but it is too expensive.

If you walk into a friend’s house and your WiFi automatically connects, keep it.

Friends are like teeth, you lose them over the years.

Santiago Ramon y Cajal

Best friends are crazy, but the best moments are the craziest.

Friends are like books, you don’t need many but the best.

If you can’t call her at 3 in the morning, she’s not your best friend.

A friend will always love you… even when you ask for her advice and then ignore it.

My life without you would be the same. But still, thank you for existing.

False friends are not there when you need them, but real friends are even in the soup.

The worst thing about friendship is that you always hang out with people as crazy as you. Or was that the best?

They say true friendship is a blessing… but that’s because they don’t know you.

Yes, my friends may be crazy and gossipy, but that’s how I love them.

Crazy and united friends will never be defeated.

True friendship is not being inseparable, it is separating and still nothing changes.

You’re not crazy, you’re just mentally funny.

Behind a great woman like you, there is a crazy friend who constantly encourages her.

Mr. Wonderful

I didn’t want you in my life, but in the end I grew fond of you.

A real friend will not cry with you, but will ask you “Who do you want me to kill?”

A true friend is one who helps you get up when you fall. After having laughed for a long time.

How are a good friend and a melon alike? Of a hundred you try, only one comes out good.

I’m your best friend, so ask me for whatever you want… less money, please.

Eyes that don’t see… friends that tell you in detail!

Call me crazy, but I’m starting to suspect that the love of my life is me.

Don’t take life too seriously… otherwise you’ll never get out of it alive.

Elbert…