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Your happiness does not depend on anyone, it only depends on you.

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The other day I saw that a girl posted prints of a conversation with her boyfriend on Facebook. In this conversation she spoke of herself as if she did not see her own qualities.

She told her boyfriend that she was ugly, that she was always horrible, that he didn’t deserve her, and that she was shit.

Her boyfriend, of course, praised her in an attempt to make her see how perfect she was. The publication she made was thanking her for having been lucky enough to have a boyfriend who always raised her self-esteem.

And that’s when something bothered me like hell…

I didn’t understand how someone can’t see how amazing they are, how, worse than that, they end up creating a dependency on the other, a need to hear from the other how beautiful they are.

It was as if she was so empty inside that she was totally dependent on the other person’s words to believe in herself and only then feel better.

Yeah man. This is terribly bad.

There’s nothing wrong with hearing from someone who loves you how wonderful you are. It’s okay to hear from someone next to you how amazing you are, you know?

Apparently there is no danger in hearing the other extol your qualities, tell you what he admires in you and remind you every day how special you are, how spontaneously fascinating you are.

But do you believe in yourself?

Do you see your insides enough to believe how stunning you are?

Can you realize, without needing someone to tell you all the time, how fantastic you are?

Because if you can’t perceive your qualities, look in the mirror, see your soul and see how beautiful you are, you will end up creating a dependency on the other, thinking you need the other to tell you everything you should already know. about yourself, believing that you need the other person by your side to remind you of your essence.

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And if you act like that, you’re doing it all wrong.

There is enormous danger there. Because if you build an idea that you need the other to be okay, you’re going to end up getting hurt like hell!

The danger in this is that you end up building a need, a dependency so that the other is always making you believe that you are amazing, that you are perfect, that you are beautiful! When it’s really you who should believe it, you know?

Sometimes the danger is thinking that the other has a responsibility to take care of our self-esteem, when we are the only ones responsible for it.

Instead of waiting for someone to tell you how important you are, do the exercise of saying it to and for yourself. Every day.

You don’t have to sabotage yourself for the other to praise you, inflate your ego and make you feel better.

Iandê Albuquerque

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