You’re at a party and a certain guy can’t stop staring at you. Time passes and the exchange of looks doesn’t end, until he approaches and starts a conversation with you. You end up hooking up and, at the end of the night, you exchange numbers. Well, girl, this story can end in two different ways: first, the guy calls you the next day and asks you to go out with him again; in the second, it takes two and a half millennia to turn on, if not completely gone.
The problem is me?
Nobody likes to feel like they’ve been used. When you’re with someone and they say they’ll call you, naturally you’re hoping that’s true. Does it seem obvious? Well, it’s not. In male logic, that “I’ll call you tomorrow” might just be a polite way to say goodbye without looking like a scoundrel. If, for women, a sentence like this is a sacred commitment, often, for men, it is nothing more than closing the conversation.
That’s not to say that he didn’t enjoy meeting you or that he has someone else on his mind at the moment, it just means that he didn’t feel the chemistry necessary to move things forward. It’s not his fault, you probably didn’t do anything wrong, but the guy just isn’t interested in continuing to see you. Simple and drama free.
Can I call?
If, despite not calling, the guy has given you his number and you are extremely interested, it’s okay to text or call.
Wait a few days before taking this action. This time will help you decide if you really want to do this and will give you a legal deadline to see if the guy gets in touch. Yes, even if he doesn’t call you the next day, that doesn’t mean he never will. So after a few days (or next weekend), send them a short message saying hi, reminding them who you are, and subtly inviting them to “do something”.
Don’t play the psychopath
If the guy in question doesn’t answer you or doesn’t answer your call, get out. It is not worth, under any circumstances, to send a million messages or call several times in a row. This scares a lot more than it solves the problem. Imagine that unpleasant situation, someone you’re not interested in pestering you all day.
Understand that he had enough time to look for you and didn’t look for you, in addition to not responding to your attempt to approach. Those are two very clear signs that he really doesn’t want to talk to you. Don’t play the cell phone crazy and don’t dramatize. Just accept and get over it.
What if he calls after that?
Men are strange and complex creatures. It could be that, on any given day, when you least expect it, the phone rings and you are the handsome one. In that case, you have two options: you can agree to go out with him – maybe he suddenly realized what he was missing?! – and you run the risk of being “forgotten” again, or you can say a simple “no thanks, but I already have an appointment” and move on to another. Whatever your decision, just remember not to humble yourself before him. No one – least of all you – deserves to “beg” for a date.
With Knowledge Comes Wisdom
Walk comfortably in both Darkness and Light with these digital Books of Shadows: