What to do when someone is draining you emotionally?

Have you ever experienced fatigue, bad mood and frustration after being with a friend, family member or acquaintance? In fact, there are people who, due to their personality and attitude, end up draining you of all your energy and leaving you low. ¿What to do when someone is draining you emotionally? You tell him? Do you choose to avoid these presences?

The truth is that the closer that figure is, the more difficult it is to act. However, remember that your psychological well-being can be eroded by these types of dynamics. Thus, It is always appropriate to know how to set limits with respect and empathy.. You can give them alternatives and empower them to solve their problems. In the following reading we give you the keys.

How to act when someone is draining you emotionally

Scientist Matthew Lieberman, from the University of California, explains something very interesting in his book Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect (2013). People are programmed for social and emotional connection. With everything, Those encounters and dialogues that you have with your environment are deficient and, then, your brain suffers..

Works published in Frontiers in Psychology They warn that the interactions you have with others can trigger emotional contagion. And this is not always positive. Sometimes, the negativity and frustration of others permeate your spirits. Knowing how to contain these situations is decisive for your psychological health. We explain how to act.

1. Understand and empathize

We can all be emotionally draining at some point.. This is something worth noting. There are days or certain times when, due to various circumstances, you also need more attention, support and to be listened to. What’s more, stress and anxiety can make you more demanding and you may not realize it.

The first step will always be to empathize and understand the reality of who you have in front of you.. It is true that there are friends or family members who drain your energy, but it is appropriate to keep in mind the personal situations in which they are. Most likely, the behavior will be temporary and, when they resolve their problems, the treatment will be enriching again.

2. Detect possible mental health problems

Many of those who make a drama out of a speck of dust may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. Likewise, those who see the glass half empty and only see catastrophes on the horizon may be dealing with undiagnosed depression. Before setting limits, consider the possibility that this person suffers from a mental health problem..

Take into account aspects such as those detailed in the Journal of Affective Disorders. Repetitive negative thinking is a characteristic of someone dealing with a mood disorder. Often, this helplessness or irritability is characteristic of an underlying problem that should be addressed. Encourage them to request specialized help.

3. Urges emotional responsibility

When someone regularly drains you emotionally, they may be a high-demand figure.. That is, they are men and women who expect you to be their confidant 24/7. They want you to be their savior, to tell them what to do and how to solve their problems. In these circumstances, it will be helpful for you to remember these keys:

You are not responsible for them: Whoever drains your energy must understand that your job is not to decide for them and resolve their crises. Nor is it in your power to be that figure who leaves everything to run and serve them instantly. You also have a life and your obligations.Improving emotional responsibility: Suggest that person enhance their skills in this matter. The first thing is to understand his feelings and emotions, as well as their origin. The second step is to develop means and strategies to alleviate what hurts, resolve what worries and accept what cannot be changed.

4. Offer alternatives

If someone is draining you emotionally, encourage them to take a more decisive, less passive approach.. Sometimes these people are not aware of how they relate to others. They act on autopilot to project negativities, fears and frustrations. In these cases, it will be very useful for you to do the following:

Inform them about the effect that this behavior has on their emotions. Explain that you understand and care about their feelings. Encourage them to resolve what worries them and brings them unhappiness. Offer them your help to make those changes. Suggest that they apply new approaches. more proactive minds. Guide so they can talk to other people who can help them.

5. Set limits

It’s okay if today you tell that friend that you don’t feel like meeting up. The world will not fall if you make it clear to a family member that you are not willing to perform certain tasks. Setting limits is an act of self-protection and also an interpersonal information mechanism. You clearly state your expectations about what you can and cannot tolerate.

Doing so makes relationships easier. If someone does not respect it, it is clear that this bond is not healthy. Honestly and respectfully communicate your needs and how far you will go in terms of emotional support. Always remember that if someone is draining you emotionally, to Sometimes it is necessary to say no to protect your own energy and well-being.

6. Create safe spaces, both in your mind and outside

You need safe spaces to live. These refuges must be both mental and physical. That is to say, You must develop psychological strategies to avoid being impregnated by other people’s negativity.. In this way, if someone is draining you emotionally, you must put up mental barricades so that their presence does not affect you as much. How? Take note:

Improve the ecpathy: in it NEuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews point out how affective empathy promotes the contagion of stress. One way to protect yourself from that reality is through ecpathy. This is a mechanism to avoid emotional contagion. To do this, start prioritizing your needs and mark a distance between the emotional world of others and your own.Practice self-care: Take time to take care of yourself. Do activities that help you relax and recharge, such as exercising, meditating, reading, taking a walk, or any other task that makes you feel good. Look for physical spaces that are your refuge on a daily basis and that can counteract this negative emotional impact.

7. Evaluate the relationship

If that someone is draining you emotionally, and it is a close figure, such as a friend or family member, it is important to do a reflection exercise. Consider whether the relationship is healthy as a whole.. Sometimes it may be necessary to distance yourself or take a temporary break to protect your well-being.

If after having demanded changes and offered help that person continues with the same dynamic, consider the next step. Keep in mind that those who love and respect you do not drain your energy.. She renews them for you, she cares about making you feel good. She thinks about it.

8. Look for people who inspire you

You are responsible for surrounding yourself with people who inspire you and not drain you.. If you don’t put up walls of protection, you will continue to stagger due to emotional exhaustion. You have the right to prosper, to be happy, because your mission in life is not to solve other people’s problems. Nor always be the one who listens, but who is never heard.

He urges anyone who needs it to request specialized help. Claim that those who do not know how to live should not use you as a doormat and wild card. Also, distance yourself from anyone who, far from wanting a change that will benefit them, is determined to continue consuming your time, your good will and mental health. Not worth it.

People who exhaust and turn off your psychological well-being

Remember that Taking care of yourself is an act of responsibility that involves choosing who you want in your life. The person who drains you emotionally may be suffering, it’s true. Sometimes, anxiety and depression show negative behavior that consumes the mood of others. Knowing it, being sensitive and realizing it says a lot about you.

As does knowing how to set limits, safeguard your well-being and understand that there are many who do not want change. There are presences that, like “emotional vampires”, dampen the spirits of others and only bring demotivation. Maintaining your inner peace means making decisions to distance yourself from those who threaten the type of life you want to live..