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What does it take for you to truly love? – A text about love and wisdom

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A lot of people ask me for all sorts of advice about their love lives. More than answering if you should or shouldn’t, I recommend that you reflect on how your choices within a love relationship reflect your worldviews.

We live in an age of cult of emotionality. In order to appear happy to others, a certain amount of euphoria and acceleration is expected. Without it, people judge the other to be slow, apathetic or unhappy. Realized life tends to be seen with a successive status update on social networks that borders on a strange confessional, everything is shared without much criteria.

In love life this is also reflected, as there are demonstrations of affection, affection, desire and poetry, but a great deal of wisdom and rationality is lacking.

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In these desperate requests for help, what I see are not people with love problems, but with a total lack of criteria to make personal decisions. Impulsiveness and a certain egocentrism (masked as truths of the heart) in decisions are clear.

The person who, at any cost, in one of the many examples I remember, makes the other person do things that are impossible for a human being. It demands undivided attention for twenty-four hours or unrealistic promises of love (only as they happen) such as lifelong love or a guarantee that nothing will change. They just don’t ask the loved one to stop the rain because it didn’t occur to them, if they wouldn’t ask.

There is a total lack of self-axis when it comes to making long-term decisions, there is no up front, but only here and now. Much less there are other people, who will suffer the effects of bad decisions, only themselves.

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This blindness to the future and others is the main effect of these decisions without any basis for weighing. The effect is always disastrous, after a while you see people emotionally destroyed, disillusioned and claiming that the world is a cruel place.

If she looked back sensibly, she could certainly see herself with less passion and realize how much choice was made without depth using tavern arguments.

Love is not lacking, what is lacking is wisdom, since without it a power like love can be more lethal than beneficial.

Frederico Mattos

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